Joke #9041

Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
Vote:
has 41.83 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, travel

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says: “You can’t drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately.” The guy says OK, and drives away. The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins, and they’re all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and demands: “I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?” The guy replies: “I did . . . today I’m taking them to the beach!”
Vote:
has 85.65 % from 179 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, travel
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Vote:
has 84.40 % from 1541 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
Vote:
has 84.39 % from 1674 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life, travel
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
Vote:
has 83.45 % from 915 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, time
If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
Vote:
has 83.43 % from 597 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, duck
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
Vote:
has 83.13 % from 998 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Vote:
has 82.46 % from 520 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.
Vote:
has 82.40 % from 592 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
A man asks a farmer near a field, "Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train." The farmer says, "Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you'll even catch the 4:11 one."
Vote:
has 82.28 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal, time, travel
A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: the captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick.  Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"  The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the captain's parrot.  Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank, drowning almost all who were on board. The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it... with the parrot. They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day... and then 2 days and then 3 days. Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said... "OK, I give up. Where's the fucking ship?"
Vote:
has 82.20 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel