An American was hopelessly lost in the Highlands and wandered about for nearly a week.
Finally, on the seventh day he met a kilted inhabitant.
"Thank heaven I’ve met someone," he cried. "I’ve been lost for the last week."
"Is there a reward out for you?" asked the Scotsman.
"No," said the American.
"Then I’m afraid you’re still lost," was the reply.
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Q: What do you call an African-American whose spouse just died?
A: A black widow.
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A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office.
Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out:
"Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children."
"Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman.
"That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker.
"Oh, den I uses the last names."
Q: What do you call a bunch of black people together...
A: A pack of Gorillas.
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Why are there no mexicans on star trek?
They don't work in the future either.
Q: What travels at 200km's a hour?
A: A Mexican hearing a dollar drop to the ground.
Q: Why are native Americans effective strippers?
A: When they dance they make it rain.
Why did Rosa Parks die?
She refused to go to the back of the ambulance!
Whats the difference between a nigger and a large pizza?
A pizza can feed a family of four.
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American tourist in Moscow found himself needing to get rid of a large supply of garbage from his recent stay at an apartment. After a long search, he just couldn't find any place to discard of it. So, he just went down one of the side streets to dump it there.
Yet, he was stopped by a Moscow police officer, who said, "Hey you, what are you doing?"
"I have to throw this away," replied the tourist.
"You can't throw it away here. Look, follow me," the policeman offered.
The police officer led him to a beautiful garden with lots of grass, pretty flowers, and manicured hedges. "Here," said the cop, "dump all the garbage you want."
The American shrugs, opens up the large bags of garbage, and dumps them right on the flowers.
"Thanks for giving me a place to dump this stuff. This is very nice of you. Is this Russian courtesy?" asked the tourist.
"No. This is the American Embassy."
Q: What happens when you cross a nigger with a Mexican?
A: A nigger that is to lazy to steal.
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