How many students does it take to change a light bulb?
"Is it worth any bonus marks?"
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Q: Why can't a blonde count to 70?
A: Because 69's a mouthful.
Teacher: Did you father help your with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.
Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour?
Pupil: Because it can't sit down!
Q: Why don't you see any pot heads in elementary school?
A: Because they're all in high school
Johnny: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Johnny: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.
A student to his teacher: "I haven't got no pencil."
Teacher, correcting him: "You don't have any pencil.
He doesn't have any pencils.
We don't have any pencils."
Student, with a look of astonishment: "Where have all the pencils gone?"
Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?
A student comes to a young professor's office hours.
She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.
"I would do anything to pass this exam."
She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.
"I mean..." she whispers, "
I would do...anything."
He returns her gaze.
"Anything?"
Anything."
His voice softens.
"Anything??"
"Absolutely anything."
His voice turns to a whisper.
"Would you...study?"
Chuck Norris bunked school one day.
Till today that day is known as Sunday.
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