How many students does it take to change a light bulb?
"Is it worth any bonus marks?"
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Chuck Norris's 1st Grade teacher asked him how many stars there were on the American Flag.
Chuck Norris replied "Yes." and was correct.
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Q: What is the difference between an ISIS boot camp and a local school?
A: How should I know? I just fly the drones.
The parents were very disappointed in the grades that their son brought home.
“The only consolation I can find in these awful grades,” lamented the
father, “is that I know he never cheated during his exams.”
You could give me 37 years to do homework and I still wouldn't do it until the night before.
There are three 6th grade girls: a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.
Which one has the biggest tits?
The blonde....she's 18.
A little girl came home from school and said to her mother,
“Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do.
“The mother exclaimed, “But that’s terrible!
I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this … by the way, what was it that you didn’t do?”
The little girl replied, “My homework.”
Q. To a blonde, what is long and hard?
A. Grade 4.
Three professors (a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician) are called in to see their dean.
Just as they arrive the dean is called out of his office, leaving the three professors there.
The professors see with alarm that there is a fire in the wastebasket.
The physicist says, "I know what to do! We must cool down the materials until their temperature is lower than the ignition temperature and then the fire will go out."
The chemist says, "No! No! I know what to do! We must cut off the supply of oxygen so that the fire will go out due to lack of one of the reactants."
While the physicist and chemist debate what course to take, they both are alarmed to see the statistician running around the room starting other fires.
They both scream, "What are you doing?"
To which the statistician replies, "Trying to get an adequate sample size."
Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor?
Student: You told me not to use tables.