Joke #5666

How many students does it take to change a light bulb? "Is it worth any bonus marks?"

You have committed the grave tactical blunder of acquiring enough university credits to graduate. So now you're leaving college and embarking on the greatest adventure - and the biggest challenge - of your young lives: moving back in with your parents.

Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time, and she asked, “My name begins with the letter ‘M’ and I pick up things. What am I?” A little boy on the front row proudly said, “You’re a mother!”

It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may being plowing." Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: "Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class."

A little girl cuts her hand on the playground and runs crying to the teacher. She asks the teacher for a glass of cider. "Why do you want a glass of cider?" the teacher asks. "To take away the pain," sobs the little girl. "What do you mean?" the teacher asks. "Well," sobs the little girl. "I overheard my big sister say that whenever she has a prick in her hand, she can't wait to get it in cider."

Q: What is the difference between an ISIS boot camp and a local school? A: How should I know? I just fly the drones.

The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, “Now I’ll show you this frog in my pocket.” He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich. He looked puzzled for a second, thought deeply, and said, “That’s funny. I distinctly remember eating my lunch.”

One day two girls were trying out for the school cheerleading squad. One was a blonde and one was a brunette. After they both had tryouts, they went home to wait until the results were posted. The blonde goes to see if she made it that night. Once she found out she made it she got out her cell phone and called the brunette, but she didn't answer, so the blonde just went back home. The next day the brunette called the blonde to see if she wanted to go with her to look at their scores. The blonde says sure and meets the brunette at the school. The brunette beats the blonde to the school, so she goes ahead and looks at the scores to find out they both made it. When the blonde gets there, she finds her name on the list again. Then she says, "Yes! I made it again, I made it last night and I made it again today. I am on a roll!"

Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?

Chuck Norris graduated from the School of Hard Knocks with an MBA - Mega Bad Ass.

Chuck Norris bunked school one day. Till today that day is known as Sunday.