Joke #9302

Q: What is the difference between northern and southerner fairytales? A: Northerner starts off with "Once upon a time..." a southerner starts with "listen to this shit..."

Why are black people & vending machines the same? Because they both don't work & they both steal your money.

Which traffic sign allows you to make a U-turn on a highway in Finland? You are approaching the Russian border.

Rappers are like the pens at the bank. They all have chains on them, and don't write very well.

At the New York Zoo, a little boy felt the urge to feed his banana to a big gorilla there. His mother didn’t allow it. The boy started to cry, and made his mother to change her mind. Proudly, the boy goes near the gorilla with the banana and as he was about to give it away, the gorilla grabbed him and was prepared to eat him. Crying and shouting, the boy tries to escape, but even his mother stood still in the sight of it. Suddenly, something sounded like a hum up in the air... It was Superman! Superman rescued the child! The crowd relieved applauses. The Media arrived at that point, and the reporters started interviewing Superman. "Which newspaper are you from?" Superman asked to one of them. "New York Times." "You can ask me now." Superman said. "Were you scared while saving the kid?" "Yes, but it doesn’t matter to me. I want to help other human beings, no matter the cost." To the next reporter: "Which newspaper are you from? "Herald Tribute. Which are your beliefs about children?" "I believe that children are the future of our world and that we should, all of us protect them from evil." The third reporter: "Which newspaper are you from?" "Risebroker" (Rizospastis, a Greek newspaper) "To you, you damned communist, I’m not saying a word!" Next Day, Newspapers write in their FrontPage: New York Times – Superman, the abnegation and human sacrifice standard! Herald Tribute – Superman, the defender and children Savior! Risebroker – Superman, Propagandist, right winged fascist, deprives food from South-African immigrant!

A Pakistani boy took admission in an American school... Teacher: "Whats your name?" Boy: "Nadir" Teacher: "No, now you are in America, your name is Johnny from today." Boy went home and his mother asked: "How was the day Nadir?" Boy: "I am an American now, so call me Johnny." Mom and Dad both got offended and beat him up. Next day he was back to school all bruised... Teacher: "What happened Johnny?" Boy: "Ma'm, just 6 hours after I became American, I was attacked by two Pakistani terrorists."

A nigger and a spic fall from a tree, who hits the ground first? The spic, the nigger never makes it because he's stopped by the rope.

Why do mexicans walk around the school like they own the place? Cause there dad built it and there mom cleans it at night.

White owl: who who. Black owl: who dat who dat.

What do you call Americans pushing a car up the hill? a: White Power. What do you call Asians pushing a car up the hill? a: Asian Power. What do you call Mexicans pushing a car up the hill? a: Grand Theft Auto.

Q: What do you call a cremated black person? A: 100% cocoa powder.