Joke #790

boy: spell "me" girl: M-E boy: but you forgot the D girl: there's no D in me boy: not yet ;)
Vote: has 73.88 % from 263 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Happy Father's Day to someome who's been completely replaced in his marriage by Fifty Shades of Grey.
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, Fathers day, marriage, sex
A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.
Vote: has 82.26 % from 157 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, money
There was a guy and he went to the doctor and he showed the doctor his dick. He asked why it was orange and the doctor replyed: Have you been doing anything unusual? And he said: No. So the doctor ran so tests then he sent the guy home told him to come back in 2 weeks. So he did and it was even oranger so once again the doctor asked: Have you been doing anything at all unusual? And the guy said: Well about 2 weeks ago I was watching porno and eating a bag of crunchy cheetos.
Vote: has 42.40 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, doctor, food
I like your style I like your class but most of all i like your ass.
Vote: has 66.77 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, dirty, poems
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty
John is paying a visit to his Italian neighbor in the hospital, who just had a very serious traffic accident. He doesn't look like very much: in plaster, completely wrapped in a bandage, tons of hoses and infusions. He looks like a mummy. John tries to have a conversation, but his neighbor has his eyes closed and isn't responding. Suddenly his eyes jump wide open and he starts to gurgle and during his last gasp for air he says: "Mi stai bloccando il d'tubicino ossigeno, Pezzo di merda ...." John inscribes the words in his heart. At the funeral John tells the black-clad widow that her husband had something to say. 'And, she asks with tearful eyes,"was it that he loved me? " "I do not know," said the man, "but it sounded like Mi stai bloccando il d'tubicino ossigeno, pezzo di merda ...." The widow screams and faints. "What?" John ask startled to the daughter, "what did he say, what does that mean?" And the crying daughter says: "You are standing on my oxygen hose, you git."
Vote: has 59.31 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!" His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, 'How about a blowjob?' ....and she's always sound asleep."
Vote: has 77.76 % from 241 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, dirty, drunk, wife
Two nuns are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat runs up and flashes them. The first nun has a stroke. The second nun tried but she couldn't reach.
Vote: has 70.02 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Q. What do a toilet and a woman have in common? A. Without the hole in the middle they aren't good for shit.
Vote: has 76.80 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, women
What is 6 inches long, hard, goes into your mouth back and fourth, and has white stuff at the end. A toothbrush with toothpaste
Vote: has 76.08 % from 338 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty