boy: spell "me"
girl: M-E
boy: but you forgot the D
girl: there's no D in me
boy: not yet ;)
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A man walks into his office box on a Monday morning.
He checks his e-mails and sees one from his neighbor.
it reads, "Do you have any naked photos of your wife?"
Outraged the man replies, "NO I DO NOT!"
Shortly after he receives a second e-mail from his neighbor.
Expecting an apology he opens the e-mail.
It reads, "Want to buy some?"
Me - Can you go to your moms room?
Friend - Yeah, why?
Me - I left my pants in there.
Friend - Fuck you!
My colleague said to me, "I bet you can't see your dick when you look down in the shower."
"No, just your daughter's head," I replied.
Two men were talking:
First : "Can U put the word 'penis' in a sentence?"
Second: "Yo mama's pussy."
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?
A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer.
A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?"
"Fertilizer," the farmer replied.
"What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy.
"Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer.
"You ought to live here," the little boy advised him.
"We put sugar and cream on ours."
Hey guys.
Bet your female friend that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button.
Thank me later.
Little Sally came home from school with a proud smile on her face.
She told her mum, "Frankie Brown showed me his willy today."
Before mum could raise a concern sally said, "It reminded me of a peanut..."
With a secret smile mum asked, "Was it really small?"
Sally replied, "No... really salty!"
Q: If Hitler would have been a feminist what political system would he have come up with?
A: A dickhatership!
Roses are red, violets are blue...
I'm in love but not with you...
When we broke up you thought I cried
But all it was...
Was another guy,
You told your friends that I was a trick,
I told mine that you had a weak dick...
I said I loved you
And you thought it was true,
But guess what baby?!
You got played too!