The fastest dialog in the world:
(WC door is opening)
Man inside: Heyyy!
Man outside: Sorryyy!
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How many mexicans does it take to build...
Oh shit, They're done!
An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church.
There's a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap.
On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.
Then the priest comes in.
"Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."
The priest replies: "Get out. You're on my side."
A guy in the locker room saw another guy with a piece of cork up his ass.
"Why do you have a cork up your ass?"
"Well, it's a long story. But one day I was walking on the beach and I tripped over a bottle and woke up a genie who said he would grant me one wish. I said, 'No s**t!"
I used to play tennis, baseball, basketball and chess, but I stopped after my son broke my playstation.
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Jenna, Jessica and ariana die.
They all go to heaven and GOD says, "You can do whatever you want, just don't step on a pink cloud".
The first day, Jenna goes out and comes back with a ugly guy.
Jessica and Ariana ask, "what happen?".
Jenna says, "I stepped on a pink cloud".
The next day, Jessica goes out, she comes back with a ugly guy.
Jenna and Ariana ask, "what happen?".
Jessica says, "I stepped on a pink cloud".
The following day Araina goes out and comes back with a HOTT guy, blue eyes, thin and tall.
Jenna and jessica ask, "What happen?"
The guy says, "I stepped on a pink cloud".
Wearing a turtleneck shirt is like being strangled by a really weak person all day.
Mexicans cross the border 1...2...and 4 at one time, never 3. why?
Because the sign says - no tres passing.
What do women and pools have in common?
They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the little amount of time you're inside them.
Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
A: You can unscrew a light bulb.
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