Joke #9441

Girls are always taking your hoodies but you take one of their dresses and suddenly they're all like "we need to talk."
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has 80.43 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: life

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A rich 40 year-old American woman decided to get married, but she wanted her husband to be a virgin and to never had been with a woman all of his life. After some years of pointless searching, she didn’t found anyone with this description and forced to give an ad to the paper. A month later, she met with an Australian man who had never been with a woman before in his life and she married him immediately. On the first night of their wedding and before they lay down, she went for a quick fresh up and then went back to the bedroom, happy. When she entered the room she stood steal... She saw her husband naked to the center of the room and all the furniture on the corner of the room. "But.. What happened?" asked the woman obviously shocked. "Look.. I’ve never been with a woman, but if it’s the same as with the kangaroo, then I’ll need the whole room to catch you!"
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A fat lady (To a health expert): "Give me some advice that can reduce my fatness." Health expert: "Okay. You must move your head to the right and the left at a particular time." Fat lady: "At which particular time?" Health expert: "Whenever anybody asks you to eat."
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has 82.28 % from 144 votes. More jokes about: doctor, fat, health, life
Q:Why is a doctor always calm. A: Because it has a lot of patients.
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I watched Justin Bieber get shot in CSI and my brother asked "Why are you crying?" I said "Because he didn't die in real life"
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Our folk not only knows how to read between the lines but also how to leave a record between the eyes.
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has 14.12 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: life
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence–a life sentence. Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind. Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes. Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings": * The Engagement Ring * The Wedding Ring * The Suffe-Ring * The Endu-Ring
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has 53.67 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: life, love, marriage, wedding
It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
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Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life. When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
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has 37.97 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fitness, life
You ever accidentally go up to a real big fat person, and you accidentally ask them for a good place to eat? And they look at you and say they don't know. And you're looking at them, like, 'You do know. I bet if I follow you for an hour, we gonna be eatin'. '
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has 44.67 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: life