Joke #9441

Girls are always taking your hoodies but you take one of their dresses and suddenly they're all like "we need to talk."
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has 75.27 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: life

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The houseman invited over his boss and partners, for lunch. With them, his little 5year-old daughter was there. "Don’t you want to say the prayers before lunch, so Our Holly Father give us his blessings?," asks the father. "But... I don’t know what to say...," the little girl admits. "Just say what you heard your mommy say last time inside the kitchen!," said her mother to help her. And the girl: "Oh, God! Why in this life, my husband must invite all these people for lunch?"
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: food, god, husband, kids, life
A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight number 293, non-stop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather head is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOD!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Business class yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!"
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has 80.07 % from 208 votes. More jokes about: life, travel
Q: What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath? A: Stinkerbell!
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life
Define "Egghead": What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: life
A director’s wife hears that her husband has a new secretary. The director comes home and the wife starts putting questions: Does this new secretary of yours have nice legs? I don’t know. What color do her eyes have? I didn’t notice... But about dressing, how does she dress? Very fast...
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has 80.77 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: life
We have so many nationalities. It's gotten to the point now that you can go into any fast food place, and you can find out what kind of neighborhood you're in just by the ethnic group that works there. It's like, if Chinese people work there, you're in a Chinese neighborhood; if black people work there, you're in a black neighborhood; if white people work there, then you're in Utah.
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has 59.75 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, life
How many Mafia hitmen does it take to light the bonfire? Three, One to set fire to the effigy, one to watch his back, and one to shoot any witnesses.
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: life
A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, "I did some homework." The robot slaps the son. The son says, "Ok, Ok, I was at a friend's house watching movies." Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?" Son says, "Toy Story." The robot slaps the son. Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching p*rn." Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what p*rn was." The robot slaps the father. Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son." The robot slaps the mother. Robot for sale...
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has 82.10 % from 149 votes. More jokes about: life
Mom can i buy some heels? No. Mom can i buy a bra? No. Mom can i buy a dress? No. Mom can i buy a barbie doll? No. You never let me buy anything! Shut up, Justin.
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has 69.86 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: life, music
You know what I was thinking about right now? What it would be like to have six fingers....high fives would be different.
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has 33.86 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: life