Q: Why did this woman cross the road? A: Because I was not fast enough to hit her.
What is a Zebra? A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger than an A-bra.
Why is a woman different from a PC? A woman won't accept a 3½" floppy.
Question: Why do men fart more than women? Answer: Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.
Jim and Edna are both mental patients. One day Jim jumps into the swimming pool but, doesn't come up for air. Quick as a flash, Edna sees her friend in trouble, so dives in and pulls him out. Later, the hospital director calls Edna into his office and sayes "Edna, Ive got some good news and some bad news. The good news is, we are releasing you as you are obviously sane 'saving anothers life'. But unfortunately, the bad news is that Jim hanged himself in the bathroom ..." "Oh no' Edna replies, that's where I put him to dry !"
Thomas is 32 years old and he is still single. One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?" Thomas replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them." His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother." A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?" With a frown on his face, Thomas answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much." The friend said, "Then what's the problem?" Thomas replied, "My father doesn't like her."
I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer... but no one will do it.
What do you call a black woman thats had 5 or more abortions? Crime fighter.
A man came home from the bar with an unknown woman. He woke up in the morning and yelled, "A crocodile, a crocodile!" The woman woke up and asked, "Where, where?" A man cried again, "O-o-oh, the crocodile is talking!"
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Q: Why did the woman get thrown out of the riding stable? A: She wanted to mount the horse her way.