I was walking down the street to a video store last night to rent a porno movie when I saw a woman being raped.
Saved myself a fiver.
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Q: Why did hitter kill himself?
A: Because he could not pay the gas bill.
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I'm thinking about opening a summer camp for jewish kids with adhd and dyslexia, I'm gonna call it Concentration camp.
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A guy is walking along the beach, when he sees a woman with no arms and no legs lying on the sand, crying.
He walks over to her and asks what's wrong.
"I've never been hugged before" she says.
Thinking this is a simple enough request, the man hugs her.
She soon starts crying again. He again asks what's wrong, and she replies, "I've never been kissed before."
The man again complies with her wishes and gives her a romantic kiss.
She starts crying again, and the man, slightly irritated, asks what's her problem.
"I've never been fucked before" she says.
So he picks her up and throws her in the ocean and says, "There, now you're fucked."
What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib ?
A Pedophiles ass.
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Came out the gym the other day and cop asked me how I got that body.
I said, "I don't know officer, I just opened the trunk and there she was"
Q: What do you call an afghan virgin
A: Never bin laid on.
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Q: What happened to the entertainer who did a show for the cannibals?
A: He went down really well!
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Q: Did you hear Lorena Bobbitt was almost killed in a traffic accident?
A: Some dick cut her off.
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War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left.
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Why do orphans like playing tennis?
Because it's the only love they get.
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