Joke #9642

Q: Why do women have arms? A: Have you any idea how long it would take to lick a bathroom clean?

The waitress asked how I would like my coffee. I told her: "like my woman - hot and black".

A Woman asks a Waiter What is this fly doing in my Ice cream? The waiter says, "SHIVERING MADAM".

A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.

Question: What do you call a woman who has lost 95 percent of her intelligence? Answer: Divorced.

Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women? He died laughing before he could tell anybody.

What do they call a woman who works as hard as a man? Answer: “Lazy.”

How do you make a woman scream twice in the bedroom? Fuck her in the ass then wipe your dick on the curtains.

Have you heard about the new aftershave that drives women crazy? No! Tell me about it. It smells of $50 dollar bills.

Q: What do women, tornadoes and hurricanes have in common? A: They all get the house.

Miss DeAngelo was a not-too-bright young woman who had moved to Hollywood with dreams of becoming a star. She didn’t find fame or glory, but she did encounter plenty of men willing to enjoy her plentiful charms, and soon she found herself called to testify in a divorce case. When it was her turn on the stand, the lawyer came forward. "Miss DeAngelo, the wife of the defendant has identified you as the ‘other woman’ in her husband’s life. Now, do you admit that you went to the Pricerite Motel with this Mr. Evans?" "Well, yes," acknowledged Miss DeAngelo with a sniff, "but I couldn’t help it." "Couldn’t help it?" asked the lawyer derisively. "How’s that?" "Mr. Evans deceived me." "Exactly what do you mean?" "See, when we signed in," she explained, "he told the motel clerk I was his wife."