Joke #9642

Q: Why do women have arms? A: Have you any idea how long it would take to lick a bathroom clean?

Q: Why all men say "Ladies first"? A: They want to watch their asses.

Why did God create man before woman? He didn't want any advice!

Have you heard about the new aftershave that drives women crazy? No! Tell me about it. It smells of $50 dollar bills.

Why are women like parking spaces? Because all the best ones are taken... and the rest are handicapped.

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Why do men like smart women? Opposites attract.

I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss. The woman there smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and said I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "Has your plane arrived yet?"

A very caring sentence written on the T-Shirt of a girl walking on the road. "You are not looking at the road right now, please be careful."

Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises. "How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers. "It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied. "I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father's the reason for your elongated penises?" "No sir, our mother." "Your mother? You idiot, women don't have penises!" "I know, sir," replied the recruit, "But she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best she could."

A man has 6 items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.