Joke #3252

For all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free”. Here’s an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage…
Vote: has 46.53 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

"Yesterday, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, couldn't drive, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned."
Vote: has 79.05 % from 87 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, beer, science, women
A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. "I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want no vacaine because I’m in a big hurry," the woman said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we’ll be on our way." The dentist was quite impressed. "You’re certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?" The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."
Vote: has 48.13 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dentist, doctor, husband, women
Why do women love Hunters the best as lovers? 1. Hunters have the longest and most powerful rifles. 2. Hunters always....shoot twice. 3. Hunters love to...eat what they shoot!
Vote: has 76.06 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: hunting, love, women
A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn comes in to take a piss. Well, the man cant help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised, "bubba, whats your secret?" Bubba says"well, every night before i go to get in bed with a woman i whack my dick on the bedpost three times." So the man decides to try it that very night. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says"bubba, is that you?"
Vote: has 86.66 % from 768 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, wife, women
I unfollowed Taylor Swift on Twitter... I'm sure she's gonna write a song about it.
Vote: has 70.43 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, music, women
What do women and police cars have in common? They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.
Vote: has 80.33 % from 68 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, cop, women
A groom waits at the altar with a huge smile on his face. His best man asks, "Why do you look so excited?" The groom replies, "I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life, and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me." The bride waits at the other end of the aisle with a huge smile on her face. Her maid of honor asks, "Why do you look so excited?" The bride replies, "I just gave the last blow job of my entire life."
Vote: has 88.78 % from 867 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, marriage, women
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!
Vote: has 35.66 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor, sex, women
There's no wine holder on this vacuum cleaner. It's like it wasn't even designed for women. How can I be expected to work under these conditions?
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: technology, wine, women, work
Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, “Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!” “Dear God! Did you try to stop him?” “No,” she said, “I did better than that! I got the license plate number!”
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, god, women