Joke #97

How can you get AIDS from a toilet seat? By sitting down before the last guy gets up.
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has 58.55 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: sex

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This 12 year old boy was in bed when he heard his mother moaning. He decided that he'd go see whats wrong with her. When he looked in his mothers room he saw that she was laying on her bed naked and rubbing herself and saying, "I need a man, I need a man." So this quite a few times and then one night he heard his mother again, but this time her moaning sounded different, so he went to go check it out, this time instead of seeing his mother alone, he sees his mother in bed with a man. So the boy runs back to his room, strips all his clothes off, jumps on the bed and starts rubbing himself while saying, "I need a bike, I need a bike!!!"
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has 82.75 % from 2973 votes. More jokes about: age, masturbation, sex
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife. After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word he made contact, “Mary. Mary.” “Is that you, Fred?” “Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.” “What’s it like?” “Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex, I have breakfast, off to the golf course, I have sex, I bathe in the sun, and then I have sex twice. I have lunch, another romp around the golf course, then sex pretty much all afternoon. After supper, golf course again. Then have sex until late at night. The next day it starts again.” “Oh, Fred you surely must be in heaven.” “Not exactly, I’m a sheep in Wales.”
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has 78.85 % from 399 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, heaven, husband, sex
YO MAMA IS SO STUPID SHE GOT FIRED FROM A BL*W JOB.
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has 43.52 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: sex, stupid, work, Yo mama
Boy: What's it called when 3 people have sex? Girl: A threesome Boy: What's it called when two people have sex? Girl: A twosome Boy: Now you know why they call me handsome
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has 79.00 % from 474 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
So this blonde woman walks into a shop and asks the owner "Have you got a phone I can borrow as I have a bit of money and I want to call my mom." The owner says "yes" and takes her to the back of the room as he realized she was a blonde so he wanted a blowjob. So they go in the back of the room and the guy took his pants off and took out his penis. So the woman gave him the money and she put her mouth on his penis and shouted: "HEY MOM ARE YOU IN THERE!"
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has 44.95 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: blonde, money, phone, sex, stupid
Your beauty is why God invented eyeballs, but your booty is why God invented my balls!
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has 60.67 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, god, sex
I went into the bar the other day & the bartender said: "What'ya have?" I said: "Suprise me." He did, He showed me a naked picture of my wife. I said: "Hey, who said you could mess around with my wife?" "Everyone did" he replied..."
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has 67.28 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: sex
Did I tell you the joke about my dick? Never mind its too long.
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has 64.98 % from 338 votes. More jokes about: sex
How do girls get minks? The same way minks get minks.
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has 33.60 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: sex
What did one tit say to the other? I hope we get support soon or people will think we're nuts.
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has 76.89 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex