Joke #97

How can you get AIDS from a toilet seat? By sitting down before the last guy gets up.
Vote: has 56.75 % from 92 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Why are guys like microwavable meals? They’re both done in 30 seconds.
Vote: has 57.27 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Superman is flying around the city, horny as hell. He suddenly sees Wonder Woman spread eagle, naked on top of the building. Superman thinks, "This is my chance!" He swoops down, faster than a speeding bullet bangs her and is gone in the blink of an eye. Wonder Woman sits up and says,"What the hell was that!?" The Invisible Man rolls off her and says, "I have no idea but it hurt like hell!"
Vote: has 79.19 % from 929 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
A man in Amsterdam feels the need to confess, so he goes to his priest. "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. During WWII, I hid a refugee in my attic." "Well," answers the priest, "that's not a sin."' "But I made him agree to pay me 20 guilders for every week he stayed." "I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause." "Oh, thank you, Father. That eases my mind. I have one more question." "What is that, my son?" "Do I have to tell him the war is over?"
Vote: has 78.65 % from 220 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: geography, military, priest, sex, war
Two very elderly men were having a conversation about sex. Elmer says, "Yes sir, I did it three times last night with a 30 year old!" Leon replies, "You're kidding! I can't even manage to do it once! What's your secret?" To which Elmer said, "Well, the secret is to eat lots of whole-wheat bread. I'm not kidding!" So the second old man rushed to the store. The clerk asks the old man, "May I help you?" "Yes, I'd like four loaves of whole-wheat bread, please," said Leon. "That's a lot of bread! It's sure to get hard before you're done!" the clerk remarked. Leon replies, "Damn! Does everyone know about this except me?"
Vote: has 75.12 % from 250 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
When the first legal brothel opened here in Brissy I got the OK from the missus to check it out and have myself a good time. I was in there like a flash and as I was the only client at that time I has my choice of the buffet on offer. I chose a gorgeous tall slim redhead but before moving off to the rooms she stated that she wont work with anyone unless they are 10 inches. Being a little embarrassed as you would be I asked her politely to sit back down. I mean after all, no matter how hot they were I wasn't about to cut 2 inches of my manhood for anyone...
Vote: has 78.75 % from 141 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, ginger, sex
My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207...
Vote: has 64.26 % from 482 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Masturbation is like procrastination, it’s all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself!
Vote: has 73.42 % from 217 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Mrs Laura a kindergarten teacher asked her class "what things we can eat?" "Bread" "Yes" "Hamburger" "Ok" A five years girl answered "Light", "Omg" shouted the teacher, "how can light be eaten?" "Last night I heared mom whispering to dad 'turn the light off and put it in my mouth'".
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, dirty, food, kids, sex
Priest walks into a hotel reception and says 'I have booked a room for the night, but I hope the pornography on the television is disabled'. The receptionist say 'You weirdo, its normal porn!'
Vote: has 69.29 % from 92 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: priest, sex
Condoms are not completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and he got hit by a bus.
Vote: has 68.73 % from 339 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex