Joke #2751

Dad, what happens if a condom tear? Look at yourself...
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has 70.69 % from 428 votes. More jokes about: sex

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A man died and went to hell and was sitting on a stone looking very depressed. Another demon came up to him and asked: "Why the glum look, man?" The man replied: "Well I just died and now I'm in hell." But the demon just smiled and said: "Don't feel bad, it's not a bad thing at all. Do you like smoking?" the demon asked. The man's face lit up and he answered; "Yeah!" "Well on Mondays we all get together and smoke till we die. The best thing is, we're already dead!" the demon answered. "Alright!" creid the man. "Do you like drinking?" the demon asked. "Yeah!" The man answered. "Well on Wednesdays we all get together and drink till we die. The best thing is, we're already dead!" the demon answered. "Sweet!" cried the man. "Are you gay?" asked the demon. The man frowned and said: "No." The demon replied: "Oh, then you're gonna hate Saturdays..."
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has 73.50 % from 226 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, death, sex
The famous sex therapist was on the radio taking questions when a caller asked, ‘Doctor, why do men always want to marry a virgin?’ To which the doctor responded, ‘To avoid criticism.’
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has 74.24 % from 372 votes. More jokes about: sex
What's a man's definition of a romantic evening? Sex.
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has 43.41 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: sex
An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?” The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.” The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.” The elderly gentleman said, “That’s all right. I don’t need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes.”
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, old people, sex, viagra
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
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has 65.00 % from 194 votes. More jokes about: food, men, sex, time, women
A lady says to the psychiatrist, "I think I might be a nymphomaniac." He says, "I'll see what I can do to help you. My fee is eighty dollars an hour." She says, "How much for all night?"
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has 75.96 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, money, sex, time
What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table.
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has 39.74 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, dirty, disgusting, sex
The was a man named George who got a new job. His fellow employees always met for a round of golf every Saturday. They asked George to meet them at 10:00 Saturday morning. George replied that he would love to meet them, but he may be 10 minutes late. On Saturday morning George was there at exactly 10:00. He golfed right handed and won the round. Next Saturday rolls around, and George says that he will be there, but he may be 10 minutes late again. He shows up right on time, golfs left handed, and wins the round. This continues for the next few weeks, with Geoge always saying that he may be 10 minutes late, and then always winning the round golfing, either left or right handed. The other employees are getting tired of this, and decided to ask him what the deal was. They said, ''George, every Saturday you say you may be ten minutes late. You never are. Then you show up and golf with either right handed or left handed, and always win. What is up with that?'' George replies, ''Well, I am a very superstitious kind of guy. Every Saturday when I wake up, I look over at my wife. If she is sleeping on her left side, I golf left handed. If she is sleeping on her right side, I golf right handed.'' ''Well,'' one of the employees questioned, ''What happens if she is laying on her back?'' George replies, ''Then I am 10 minutes late.''
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has 66.49 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: sex, sport, time, wife, work
There is nothing wrong with sex on TV – as long as you don’t fall off.
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has 56.76 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: sex
What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them.
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, men, sex