Joke #2751

Dad, what happens if a condom tear? Look at yourself...
Vote: has 70.62 % from 427 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A guy is walking along the beach, when he sees a woman with no arms and no legs lying on the sand, crying. He walks over to her and asks what's wrong. "I've never been hugged before" she says. Thinking this is a simple enough request, the man hugs her. She soon starts crying again. He again asks what's wrong, and she replies, "I've never been kissed before." The man again complies with her wishes and gives her a romantic kiss. She starts crying again, and the man, slightly irritated, asks what's her problem. "I've never been fucked before" she says. So he picks her up and throws her in the ocean and says, "There, now you're fucked."
Vote: has 81.09 % from 573 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, romantic, sex, vulgar, women
Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. "Who is the creator of the universe?" Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, "God almighty!" The teacher congratulated her. A little later the teacher asked her another question, "Tell me who is our lord and savior?" Joe poked Josey again and she yelled out, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher congratulated her again. Later on the teacher asked, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child?" Joe poked Josey again and she shouted, "If you stick that thing in me again, I'll snap it in half and stick it up your ass!"
Vote: has 72.87 % from 126 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: christian, dirty, relationship, sex, student
Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you? A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
Vote: has 62.79 % from 50 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dirty, relationship, sex
Why are black peoples eyes red after sex? Pepper spray.
Vote: has 69.08 % from 484 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, racist, sex
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both startled and he says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221."
Vote: has 85.95 % from 8274 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex
Once upon a time, there was a king who thought that his officers were going to try to have sex with his queen. So he made all of his officers put on tight pants and told them that if anyone got a boner their head would be chopped off. So he lined them up and the queen came to the first one and took off her gown. He got a boner, so that was the end of him. Then she came to the next one and took off her gown, he got a boner and that was the end of him. This went on until she came to the last one and took off gown, then her underthings and he didn't get a boner. So she took off his clothes and started rolling on the floor with him, half an hour went by, then an hour, finally after two hours the king came in to see what was happening and as soon as the king came in the guy got a boner.
Vote: has 73.02 % from 234 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, gay, sex
What is a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging.
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men, sex
What did one tit say to the other? I hope we get support soon or people will think we're nuts.
Vote: has 74.21 % from 79 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, sex
Q. Why don't little girls fart? A. Because they don't get assholes until they're married.
Vote: has 48.38 % from 97 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fart, marriage, sex
My wife and I really love bondage. She loves it because she's a kinky bitch. I love it because I get to gag her for a couple of hours.
Vote: has 74.14 % from 189 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: love, sex, wife