Joke #9702

I was having a shit in the train toilet today, when some bloke knocked on the door. He said, "Can I see your ticket please?" "Not right now" I shouted, "I'm having a shit!" He said, "I don't believe you, can you pass it under the door?" "No problem," I said, sliding it under. "The yellow bits are sweetcorn."
Vote: has 69.39 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: What's grosser than gross? A: Two vampires fighting over a used tampon.
Vote: has 64.23 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
A couple goes to Mexico City on vacation and eats at a famous local restaurant. The waiter tells them they have a delicious special every Sunday, so the couple orders the special. With great fanfare, the waiter brings out a large silver serving platter with two huge steaming rounds of meat, juices dripping. It smells delicious and tastes even better. The couple is delighted with their meal, and the husband asks the waiter what fabulous meat was in the dish. "Senor," he explains, "each Saturday night, we have the bullfights, and that was the bull's balls you ate." The couple is a bit taken aback by what they have just eaten, but it was delicious, so they get over it. Six months later, the couple returns to Mexico City and decides to go to the same restaurant. Feeling adventuresome, they order the same dish. Once again, with great fanfare, the waiter brings out the huge silver serving dish and places it on the table. But this time, there are two tiny pieces of meat, barely enough for one. The man says, "Excuse me, but the last time we were here and ordered this dish, it was huge, more than enough for two. Why is this portion so small?" The waiter smiles and replies, "Well, you see, senor, sometimes the bull wins!"
Vote: has 57.55 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, food, holiday, husband, mexican
Another name for a vagina is a cockpit
Vote: has 44.17 % from 139 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
Two old ladies are at the movies. "Psst," says one old lady. "I think the guy next to me is beating off." "What makes you say that?" "He's using my hand."
Vote: has 78.64 % from 124 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, disgusting, old people
One roomate said to another, “Man, this morning I woke up with white crud around my mouth!” The other roomate said, “Oh, that's my fault, I guess I missed!”
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
At a rally John McCain was asked if he wore boxers or briefs. He replied, "Depends."
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
Q: Did you hear about the annoying midget who went to a nudist colony? A: He kept getting in everyone's hair.
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
If I wanted to hear from an a**hole I would fart.
Vote: has 46.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, fart
A man was shipwrecked with his dog and a sheep on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere. Everytime the man moved close to the sheep, his dog would snarl and growl at him. One day while walking the island he discovered a lovely naked lady who also had just become marooned. "Finally, some company!" he thought. While sitting on the shore and the watching the sunset with his new female friend, he slowly leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Hey, could you go walk the dog?"
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, disgusting, dog
Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet? A: Winnie the Pooh.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, disgusting