Joke #9726

Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy? He did okay until his business fell off.
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: black humor, business, health

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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
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has 78.39 % from 550 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Chuck Norris, health
There are only two things to worry about: Either you are well, or you are sick. If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about. But if your sick, there are two things to worry about. Either you will get well, or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing to worry about. But if you die, there are only two things to worry about. Either you will go to heaven or hell. If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about. But if you go to hell, you'll be so damn busy shaking hands with friends, you won't have time to worry.
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has 77.74 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, health, heaven
A businessman was flying on a plane surrounded by hundreds of kids. A lady went and sat down next to him. She asked, "Are these all your kids?" The man replied, "No, I just work at a condom factory, these are all the complaints".
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has 77.08 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black humor, business, kids, sex
"Doctor, please, my son ate some cement. What can I do?" "First of all, don't give him anything to drink."
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has 76.01 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health, kids
Doctor to Patient: "Don’t worry about your heart. It will function as long as you live."
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has 75.58 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
A man returns to the U.S. from Africa feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital, to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. “This is your doctor. We’ve had the results back from your tests and we’ve found you have an extremely nasty virus, which is extremely contagious!” “Oh my gosh,” cries the man. He’s in a panic now. “What are you going to do, doctor?” “Well we’re going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread.” “Will that cure me?” asked the man hopefully. The doctor replied, “Well no, but … it’s the only food we can get under the door.”
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has 74.78 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, food, health, hospital
How can you tell if you have acne? If the blind can read your face.
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has 72.33 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health
Knock-knock Who is there? A shattered penis with many diseases. What kind of illness? Gall, Aids, Gonorrhea, Syphilis... Enough, it is the best present for my mother in law.
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has 70.74 % from 505 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health, knock-knock, mother in law, vulgar
Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs!
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has 70.59 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: black humor, easter, food, health
A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what?” “What dear?” She asked gently. “I think you bring me bad luck.”
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has 68.72 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: business, health, husband, men