Chuck Norris killed the devil and is selling his own line of Picks of Destiny, available in all Chuck Norris approved guitar shops.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain...the snake died.
Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him, so he tracked down nothing and killed it.
Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven, where they are met at the Perly Gates by St. Peter. He says, "Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I’m granting you six months to go back to Earth and be anyone you want." The first nun says, "I want-a to be Sophia Loren" and *poof!* she’s gone. The second says, "I want-a to be Madonna" and *poof!* she’s gone. The third says, "I want-a to be Sara Pipalini." St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says. "Sara Pipalini" replies the nun. St. Peter shakes his head and says "I’m sorry but that name just doesn’t ring a bell." The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says “No Sister, this says 'Sahara Pipeline laid by 500 men in 7 days!'"
I watched Justin Bieber get shot in CSI and my brother asked "Why are you crying?" I said "Because he didn't die in real life"
Chuck Norris knows how to kill you in more ways than you know how to die.
If you rate this kickass, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself