Why was cow afraid?
He was a cow-herd.
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A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter.
Mother: "What does the cow say?"
Child: "Moo!"
Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?"
Child: "Meow."
Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?"
And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied, "Bud."
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
The proprietor of the general store at the cross-roads had his place overrun by rats, and the damage was such that he offered a hundred dollars reward to anyone who would rid him of the pests.
A disreputable-appearing person turned up one morning, and announced that he was a professional rat-killer.
"Get to work," the store-keeper urged.
"I must have a pound of cheese," the killer declared.
When this had been provided:
"Now give me a quart of whiskey."
Equipped with the whiskey, the professional spoke briskly:
"Now show me the cellar."
An hour elapsed, and then the rat-catcher galloped up the cellar stairs and leaped into the store.
His face was red, the eyes glaring, and he shook his fists in defiance of the world at large, as he jumped high in air and shouted:
"Whoopee! I'm ready! bring on your rats!"
The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...
Vote:
How do you start a teddy bear race?
Ready, teddy, go.
Which big cat should you never play cards with?
A cheetah.
How much money did the bronco have?
Only a buck!
Q: Which American duo became famous for stealing horses?
A: Bonnie and Clydesdale.
Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up.
Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.