Why was cow afraid?
He was a cow-herd.
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There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.
Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods...
Cats have never forgotten this.
Here's proof that Cats are smarter than dogs...
You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.
People who hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life.Dogs believe they are human.
Cats believe they are God!
Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel.
I got rid of my husband.
The cat was allergic.My husband said it was him or the cat...
I miss him sometimes.
Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit!
Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was.
One day she argued with a lion.
The next day was the first of June.
Why?
Because that was the end of May!
How does a group of dolphin's make a decision?
Flipper coin.
What is a cow's favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting flies," He responded.
"Oh, killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, three males, two females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell?
He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
How do snails get their shells all shiny?
They use snail polish.
Camper: "Look at that bunch of cows."
Farmer: "Not bunch, herd."
Camper: "Heard what?"
Farmer: "Of cows."
Camper: "Sure I've heard of cows."
Farmer: "No, I mean a cowherd."
Camper: "So what? I have no secrets from cows."
Did you hear about the man who named his horse Radish?