Why was cow afraid?
He was a cow-herd.
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What do you call an affectionate rabbit?
A tender, loving hare.
Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row.
The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
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Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream!
A man walks into his bedroom after work and is surprised to find his wife lying naked on the bed.
After careful examination, he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains.
He rips open the blinds to find a naked man standing there.
"Who the hell are you?" he yells.
The naked guy replies, "I'm the moth inspector."
"Oh, yeah? What are you doing naked?"
He looks down and exclaims, "Oh my God, I'm too late!"
How do you go about hiring a horse?
Try two pairs of stilts!
Is Snoop serious? Or is Snoop Lion?
One day there was a woman who lost her cat named "LOVE."
It was pretty dark outside and she lived in New York.
So, thinking that he might be down the street, she put on her house-coat and went looking for him.
When a police officer stopped to ask what she was doing, she said very honestly, "I'm looking for LOVE."
The policeman arrested her on the spot.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They go to the mooooovies.
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest?
When its raining cats and dogs.