How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?
He prawned everything.
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Did you hear about the new shark food restaurant called Jaws?
It costs an arm and a leg to eat there.
Which rabbit is a famous comedian?
Bob Hop.
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on top of a cliff.
A magical bird flies to them and tells them that each one of them can jump off the cliff and wish to be one thing to fly away on.
They will become that thing and can escape from their arduous situation.
The redhead goes first.
She jumps and says "eagle!".
She turns into an eagle and flies away.
The brunette jumps off and says,"hawk!" she turns into a hawk and flies away.
The blonde takes a running start, trips on a rock as she nears the edge. "Oh crap!" she yells.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a boy scout?
A boyscout who helps little old ladies hop across the street.
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Johny's curriculum vitae:
1. Full name: John
2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run.
3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream.
4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated.
5. Mental health: mentally retarded.
6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit.
7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named as Redwing and the lizard named as Notail
8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock.
9. Working motivation: none.
I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John
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What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common?
Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth.
Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow?
A: To get chocolate milk.
Did you hear about the man who named his horse Radish?
White owl: who who.
Black owl: who dat who dat.
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
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