Joke #3037

Q) What do you call a dog with no legs? A) It doesn't matter, he won't come!
Vote:
has 50.64 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Ronnie goes to the auction. He notices a parrot that was on auction. Ronnie decides to bid for it and so Ronnie starts off with 50 Dollars. Auctioneer: 50 Dollars Voice: 100 Dollars Ronnie: 200 Dollars Voice: 300 Dollars Ronnie: 400 Dollars Voice: 750 Dollars Ronnie: 800 Dollars Auctioneer 800 going once, twice and the parrot is sold. Ronnie to the Auctioneer "I hope this Parrot can speak as I have spent a lot of money on it." Auctioneer Laughing: "Who do you think was Bidding against you.
Vote:
has 78.15 % from 311 votes. More jokes about: animal, money, parrot
Q: Why did the lion brake up with his girlfriend? A: Cuz she was a CHEETAH!
Vote:
has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, relationship
What is the best advice to give a worm? Sleep late.
Vote:
has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat? A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
Vote:
has 63.55 % from 153 votes. More jokes about: animal, democrat
Once upon a time, there was a cat who died. When she got to heaven, God asked her how she liked being on earth. She told the Lord that it was awful, she had to sleep in cold back alleys where there was no food and life was hard. God told her that he was sorry it had had turned out that way but here, in heaven, she would be happy and He would give her the most comfortable, warm pillow to sleep on. The cat laid down upon the pillow and was happy. A few days later, about a dozen mice that came to heaven together and God asked them how they had liked earth. Earth was no better for them than it was the cat. They explained to God that it was tough and exhausting and their feet were worn out from always running from cats and dogs and people. God felt bad for the mice and decided to give them rollerskates. One day God sees the cat again and asked her how she was liking heaven. She explained that it was absolutely wonderful. The pillow he gave her was the most comfortable place that she had ever slept on, but even better than the pillow were the meals on wheels.
Vote:
has 80.86 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: How many sheep do you need to make a sweater? A: I don’t know. I didn’t think sheep could knit!
Vote:
has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal
Mr. Brown was telling his son a bed-time story. "Once upon a time there was a white bunny..." "Jeez..dad it's boring,what about science fiction?" "Ok,Ok" Mr Brown said. "Once upon a time there was a Bunny who got onto a spacecraft and...." "Dad, a little more grown up!" "Do you promise me not to tell your mom?" asked Mr Brown. " I swear!" "Ok", "Once upon a time there was a naked bunny..."
Vote:
has 67.13 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: animal, life, science
What hair style is a calf's favorite? The cowlick.
Vote:
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon a boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm. He stopped and asked the boy, "Where did you get that turkey?" The boy replied, "What turkey?" The game warden said, "That turkey you're carrying under your arm." The boy looks down and said, "Well, lookee here, a turkey done roosted under my arm!" The game warden said, "Now look, you know turkey season is closed, so whatever you do to that turkey, I'm going to do to you. If you break his leg, I'm gonna break your leg. If you break his wing, I'll break your arm. Whatever you do to him, I'll do to you. So, what are you gonna do with him?" The little boy said, "I guess I'll just kiss his ass and let him go!"
Vote:
has 74.23 % from 168 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, game
How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
Vote:
has 46.97 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, disgusting, fat