Q) What do you call a dog with no legs?
A) It doesn't matter, he won't come!
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How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group?
Look for gray hares.
Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.
The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.
The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.
Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them “The first one who can use the words “liver” and “cheese” together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me.”
The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says “I love liver and cheese.”
“Oh, how childish,” said the Poodle.
“That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever.”
She turned to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and said “How well can you do?”
“Ummmm...I HATE liver and cheese,” blurts the Golden Retriever.
“My, my,” said the Poodle.
“I guess it’s hopeless.
That’s just as dumb as the Lab’s sentence.”
She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, “How about you, little guy?”
The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the Taco Bell chihuahua.
He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says...
“Liver alone. Cheese mine."
Why do rabbits go to the beauty parlor?
For hare care.
Why do elephants squirt water through their noses?
If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very difficult to aim.
Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple?
A: The Holocaust.
Vote:
Q: Where do birds meet for coffee?
A: In a nest-cafe!
Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.
Vote:
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
"My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at him."
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth.
Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy.“
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a cartoon penguin?
Pingu-Pong.