Q) What do you call a dog with no legs?
A) It doesn't matter, he won't come!
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Why did the spider buy a car?
So he could take it out for a spin!
When Chuck Norris walks into a room, the mice jump on chairs.
Vote:
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS?
A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
Chuck Norris once walked in the opposite direction in the Running of the Bulls.
The bulls turned around and ran for their lives.
Vote:
What’s black and white and makes a lot of noise?
A zebra with a drum kit.
There is a lady laying in bed.
At about midnight her husband comes walking in with a sheep under his arm and says ”That’s the fat pig I’ve been sleeping with when I’m not sleeping with you.”
His wife gets a confused look on her face and states ”but honey that’s not a pig its a sheep.”
Her husband says ”Shut up pig I’m talking to the sheep!”
Q: Why do women have 2% more brains then a cow?
A: So, when you pull their tits they won't shit on the floor.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin.
Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Vote:
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven’t got the energy."
"Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They’re packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Sh*t might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there...
Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey.
The country there now is only an impostor.
Vote: