Joke #9932

What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits? A cud thud.
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Rabbit: "I got kicked out of my cage for not paying the rent. My wife walked out and took our twenty-nine bunnies with her. I m all out of carrots. What should I do?" Friend: "Don't worry; be hoppy!"
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Q: What do you get when you cross a perm with a rabbit? A: Curly hare.
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Yo' Mama is like a donkey: everybody rides the ass.
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A snail is walking down the road, when all of a sudden two turtles appear. They rough up the snail, take his money, and leave him for dead. Months later in the courtroom, after the two turtles have been arrested, the judge asks the snail to describe what happened on the night of the assault. The snail says, "Gee, I would love to, your honor, but it all happened so fast!"
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A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
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How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
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What do cows like to do at amoosement parks? Ride on the roller cowster.
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The proprietor of the general store at the cross-roads had his place overrun by rats, and the damage was such that he offered a hundred dollars reward to anyone who would rid him of the pests. A disreputable-appearing person turned up one morning, and announced that he was a professional rat-killer. "Get to work," the store-keeper urged. "I must have a pound of cheese," the killer declared. When this had been provided: "Now give me a quart of whiskey." Equipped with the whiskey, the professional spoke briskly: "Now show me the cellar." An hour elapsed, and then the rat-catcher galloped up the cellar stairs and leaped into the store. His face was red, the eyes glaring, and he shook his fists in defiance of the world at large, as he jumped high in air and shouted: "Whoopee! I'm ready! bring on your rats!"
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The judge: Why did you shoot the rabbit without being a member of the hunters association? The inculpated: Why did the rabbit eat cabbage from my garden, without being a family member?
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What do cows usually fly around in? Helicowpters and Bulloons.
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