What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits?
A cud thud.
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An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
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Why do lions always eat raw meat?
"Because they don't know how to cook."
A baby hedgehog lost itself, in the garden.
Sad, he strolls from here to there, whereupon he bumps in a cactus and full of hope he says:
Mama, is that you?
Three mice in a pub having a bevy discussing who's the hardest.
1st mouse says I'm the hardest I go up to mousetraps rip the cheese out and as the bar comes down i bench press it 30 times and throw it across the room!
2nd mouse says : you poof! I get rat poison' crush it into powder and snort it.
3rd mouse finishes his drink, gets up and walks to the door, where are you going? asked the other 2.
Home he replied to shag the cat!
What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day?
A forty-carrot wedding ring.
The male worm towards the female worm:
Baby, if you don’t take me as you’re husband, I’m throwing myself to the chickens!
Q: What do you call a cow during an earthquake?
A: A milk shake.
Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay!
Where do steers go to dance?
To the Meat Ball.