What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits? A cud thud.
If they bring shrimp home on shrimp boats, fish home on fish boats, and clams home on clam boats, what do they bring crabs home on? The Captains Dinghy!
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of food.
What does a bunny use when it goes fishing? A harenet.
What do you get when you cross a bunny with a spider? A harenet.
Q: How do you get ten fat cows in your basement? A: Hold a tupperware party!
An old sailor was out walking on the dock one day when he met a former ship mate of his. They had not seen each other for many years so they had much to talk about and many old memories to renew. After some time, one said to the other, "If you don’t mind my saying so, you don’t look very good, you must have experienced some bad luck." "Yes," the other one said, "I have. You see this peg leg? Well, one day I was out on deck and my leg become dangled up in a loose line and it was so badly mangled that they had to take it off at the knee." His friend agreed that was bad luck. The other one continued. "You see I have a hook for a hand. One day I was out on deck when a shipmate of mine fell overboard. I leaned over as far as I could in a attempt to rescue him and as I extended my hand to him a shark took my hand off." "My, you really did experience bad luck, the other responded, I see you have a patch over one eye, What happened to your eye?" "Well, I was out on deck again one day and just as I looked up, a seagull that was flying over , unloaded, and got me right in the eye." "My, My,(not real sailor talk) did that take your eye out?" "No, that was the first day I had my hook."
What's a skunk's favourite game in school? Show and smell.
What would you hear at a cow concert? Moo-sic!
How do you go about hiring a horse? Try two pairs of stilts!