Joke #9986

What do you get from a cow on the North Pole? Cold cream.
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Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. "Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me." "I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."
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You mama is so fat when we went to the beach the whales sang, "We are family."
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Dog rules 1. If I like it, it's mine. 2. If its in my mouth, it's mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it's mine. 4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. 5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine. 6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway. 7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine. 8. If I saw it first, it's mine. 9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine. 10. If its broken, it's yours.
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Why did the whale like the diver? Because he had flippers.
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Q: Why didn't go Noah fishing? A: He only had two worms.
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What job do rabbits at hotels have? Bellhop.
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Why did the skunk buy four boxes of tissues? Because he had a stinking cold.
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Question: What’s worse than a male chauvinistic pig? Answer: A woman that doesn’t do what she’s told.
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A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter. Mother: "What does the cow say?" Child: "Moo!" Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?" Child: "Meow." Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?" And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied, "Bud."
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?''
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