What do you get from a cow on the North Pole? Cold cream.
Q: What do you call a black and white thing rolling down a hill A: A maori and a segull fighting over a fishhead.
What's the definition of a nervous breakdown? A chameleon on a tartan rug.
What are the spots on black-and-white cows? Holstaines.
Q: What do you call a fight between you and your dad? A: Dady issues!
What do you get from a short-legged cow? Dragon milk.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? a lickalotapus.
One day, a priest was walking through a forest, when he came upon a pond. On the pond was a lily-pad, and on the lily-pad was the saddest frog the priest had ever seen! "Dear frog" the priest asked, "what is the matter? Why re you so sad?" "Well," said the frog, "I was not always a frog." "Tell me more" said the priest. "One day, I was waslking through these woods when I came upon a wicked witch. 'Stand aside witch' I said to her. But alas, she called me a nasty cheeky boy and turned me into a frog." "But that's terrible! Isn't there anything that can be done to reverse the spell?" asked the priest. "Well" said the frog, "if a kind person were to take me home for the night, feed me and put me to sleep on their pillow, I am sure I would wake up human again." "Well, this is your lucky day!" said the priest. So he took the frog home, fed him and put him to sleep on his pillow. And lo and behold, when he woke up the next morning, there was a 10 year old choir boy in his bead! "And that Your Honour, is the case for the Defence!"
What color socks do bears wear? (They don't wear socks, they have bear feet!)
How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group? Look for gray hares.
Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey. He chews bees...