When do rabbits have buck teeth?
When their parents won't get them braces.
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When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
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A man brings his cat to a veterinarian.
He lives the cat there and returns in two days, as preagreed.
He asks the veterinarian:
Is my cat still alive?
Still not...
A lady goes into a bar with her goose.
Then the bartender comes up to her and says, "Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?"
Then the lady answered, "Excuse me, I think this is a goose."
And the bartender says, "Excuse me, I was talking to the goose."
What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull?
A steak-out.
What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?
They both like a tight seal.
Q: Why are dogs such bad dancers?
A: They have two left feet.
What famous painting do cows love to look at?
The Moona Lisa.
What are the most athletic rodents?
Track and field mice.
A man had a party where all the rich people attend.
And the he had a pool with alligators.
So he announced that anyone who will swim across this pool and come out alive will be granted three wishes.
But no one wanted to go for the challenge.
All of a sudden, there was a big splash and a man was swimming like a hell and came out alive.
So the host asked, "What are your three wishes?"
The man replied, "Give me the shotgun and bulllets and show me the idiot that pushed me in..."