When do rabbits have buck teeth?
When their parents won't get them braces.
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How do you make a cat be a dog?
Pour gasoline on it and light it with a match.
It will go 'WOOF.'
There is a lady laying in bed.
At about midnight her husband comes walking in with a sheep under his arm and says ”That’s the fat pig I’ve been sleeping with when I’m not sleeping with you.”
His wife gets a confused look on her face and states ”but honey that’s not a pig its a sheep.”
Her husband says ”Shut up pig I’m talking to the sheep!”
Why was the man sued by his horse?
For palomino-money!
Did you hear about the new shark food restaurant called Jaws?
It costs an arm and a leg to eat there.
Q: What animal could Noah not trust?
A: Cheetah.
In what state will you find the most cows?
Moo York.
What four animals does a woman like to have in her house?
A tiger in bed, a mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage and a jackass to pay for it all.
What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle?
A nerd herd.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on.
After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, "You fellas ought to know your limits."