What do you call a tired cow?
Milked out.
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A black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder.
"Wow," says the bartender.
"That is really something. Where'd you get it?"
"Africa," says the parrot.
A penguin's car breaks down and he has it towed to a repair shop.
The mechanic tells him that he should have some information in about an hour.
The penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street so he wanders over while the mechanic works.
He finds the vanilla is the best ice cream he's ever eaten and he eats it with messy and gluttonous abandon getting it all over his face.
He goes back to the mechanic's to check on his car.
The mechanic informs him, "It looks as though you've blown a seal."
"Oh, no." replies the penguin "It's just some ice cream."
Q: Why do fish live in to the salt water?
A: For the reason that pepper makes them sneeze!
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
When should you feel sorry for a skunk?
When its spray pump is out of order!.
I can teach my cat any trick he wants to do!
What fur do we get from a tiger?
As fur as possible!
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks."
The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks."
"No. Those are deer tracks."
They keep arguing, and arguing, about half hour later they were both killed by a train.
Why did the rabbit have trouble hopping?
Because he always kept one foot in his pocket for good luck.