What do you call a tired cow?
Milked out.
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A stallion and a mare where due to get married, but the stallion didn't show up at the church.
He got colt feet.
It was a hot summer night.
Slowly I spread her legs and my hand was trying to find its way to her nipple...
I was so excited! I never milked a cow before...
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence.
Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked: "What are you up to there, Nancy?"
"My goldfish died", replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was concerned:
"That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied:
"That's because he's inside your fucking cat."
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.
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What do you call a neurotic octopus?
A crazy, mixed-up squid.
What has antlers, pulls Father Christmas sleigh and is made of cement?
I don't know.
A reindeer.
What about the cement?
I just threw that in to make it hard.
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
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What is the definition of revenge?
A baby with a dog in its mouth.
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Yo' Mama is so fat, the hippos at the zoo get jealous of her figure.