What do cows do for entertainment?
They go to the mooooovies.
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What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Are shellfish warm?
No they re clammy.
What do cows usually fly around in?
Helicowpters and Bulloons.
What do you get if you cross an eel with a shopper?
A slippery customer.
Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?
On squid row.
A three-year-old boy fell eighteen feet into a zoo enclosure containing seven gorillas.
He was immediately rescued, not by zookeepers, but by one of the animals.
The 150 lb. female gorilla picked up the unconscious form of the boy and laid it at a door to be easily retrieved by zookeepers.
This cross-species rescue has resulted in thousands of dollars in donations to the zoo.
It is perhaps because of these donations that zookeepers have kept quiet about one vital detail, a hastily scrawled note tucked in the boy's collar: "Thanks; but we prefer fruit."
Q:Where do you find a dog with no legs?
A:Right where you left him.
Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses?
He was a rough rider!
What does an octopus wear on a cold day?
A coat of arms.