What do cows do for entertainment?
They go to the mooooovies.
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Q: What happened when the owl lost his voice?
A: He didn't give a hoot!
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Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle?
A. Wheeeee.
Your mom's so dumb, she threw the dog and told the stick to fetch!
A policeman caught a mischievous little boy with a penknife in one hand and a squirrel in the other.
"Now listen here," the policeman said, "Whatever you do to that poor, innocent creature I shall personally do to you."
"In that case," said the boy, "I'll give it lots of chocolates as well as all my money and let it go."
What four animals does a woman like to have in her house?
A tiger in bed, a mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage and a jackass to pay for it all.
What's the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper !
Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving?
They couldn't get the moose in the oven!
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Spider: Why are you terrified by me?
Me: Well the reasons I had have all now been replaced by the fact you can talk.
Q: What do you get when you cross a perm with a rabbit?
A: Curly hare.