What do cows do for entertainment?
They go to the mooooovies.
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How much money did the bronco have?
Only a buck!
Q: What is a zebra?
A: A horse behind bars.
What do you get if you cross a cow, a french fry, and a sofa?
A cowch potato.
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died.
"You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad.
Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."
Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
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Q: What is worst than raining black cats and bloodhounds?
A: Hailing taxi cabs!
Rabbit: "Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?"
Doctor: "Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another."
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
He set a new lap record.
If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of food.
Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes?
A: The guy who gave it to him.
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