The best jokes about life

Baby, baby, baby ooh! Mom: *walks in* Are you listening to Justin Bieber? Daughter: No, I'm watching porn. Mom: Oh, thank goodness.
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has 78.97 % from 186 votes. More jokes about: life, music, sex
George W. Bush went to see the doctor to get the results of his brain scan. The doctor said: "Mr. President, I have some bad news for you. First, we have discovered that your brain has two sides: the left side and the right side." Bush interrupted, "Well, that’s normal, isn’t it? I thought everybody had two sides to their brain?" The doctor replied, "That’s true, Mr. President. But your brain is very unusual because on the left side there isn’t anything right, while on the right side there isn’t anything left."
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has 78.96 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life, political
Like changing coins - I always desired to change my 60 old years wife to three 20 years girls!
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has 78.89 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: age, life, marriage, money, wife
Yes, money cannot buy happiness, but it is much more comfortable to cry in a new BMW than on a bike.
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has 78.82 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: life
Why It Sucks to Be an Egg... You only get laid once, you only get hard once, and when you DO finally get hard, it takes under three minutes and you're already in hot water.
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has 78.82 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: food, life
If someone ever intimidates you, remember that they're 70% water. Are you scared of water? Well you should be. 400,000 people drown per year.
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has 78.77 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: death, life
Going to war without the French is like going hunting without your accordion.
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has 78.68 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: hunting, life, war
The doctor gave me one year to live. So in the heat of the moment, I shot him. And the judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
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has 78.68 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life, prison, time
On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.
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has 78.67 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: bar, bartender, life, new year, time
A man walks into work with two black eyes. His boss asks what happened. The man says, "I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her crack, so I pulled it out. She turned around and punched me square in the eye." "Where did you get the other shiner?" the boss asks. "Well," the man says, "I figured she preferred it in the crack, so I pushed it back in."
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has 78.64 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: church, life, work
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