The best kids jokes

A kid walks into a class with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks the teacher asks, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On top of blueberry hill." Then another boy walks in with no shirt and no socks and the teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On top of blueberry hill." Then a girl walks in and the teacher asks, "Where have you been? Oh, let me guess on top of blueberry hill." and the girl says, "No, I am blueberry hill."
Vote: has 79.41 % from 277 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, kids, teacher
When teacher entered the class little Jonny slowly said: "Sir excuse me; your zipper is open." So the teacher thanked him and fastened his zipper. He went near little Jonny and told him: "My dear it would better to say: the office door is open." Next day when the teacher entered the class, unfortunately, his zipper was again open! Little Jonny loudly shouted: "Not only the office door is open but also the teacher is at the door and two small students are beside him."
Vote: has 79.22 % from 122 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, kids, little Johnny, teacher
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too. Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I am not an American." "Then", asks the teacher, "What are you?" "I'm a proud Canadian," boasts the little girl. The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a Canadian. "Well, my mom and dad are Canadians, so I'm a Canadian too." The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?" A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Kristen, "I'd be an American."
Vote: has 79.04 % from 1088 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids, racist, teacher
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her imaginary friend played with other kids.
Vote: has 78.99 % from 703 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: insulting, kids, ugly, Yo mama
In a shop for kids. Peter selects a toy car, comes to the cash desk and gives the cashier money-cards from Monopoly game. The cashier: - Are you stupid? This isn't real money! Peter: - You're stupid. The car is not real either.
Vote: has 78.95 % from 1446 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, kids, money, stupid
My kid and I were in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. So I put my hand around my kid and told him "Well son, that's because daddy isn't aroused by men."
Vote: has 78.95 % from 442 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, dad, dirty, kids
Four-year-old to her two-year-old sister: "Let's play Christmas. I'll be Santa Claus and you can be a present and I'll give you away."
Vote: has 78.92 % from 45 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Christmas, game, kids, mean, Santa
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Vote: has 78.90 % from 153 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids, Santa
Chuck Norris has 2 kids. We know them as Pain and Suffering.
Vote: has 78.50 % from 79 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids
I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.
Vote: has 78.47 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: internet, IT, kids, mean, technology


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