The best kids jokes

When teacher entered the class little Jonny slowly said: "Sir excuse me; your zipper is open." So the teacher thanked him and fastened his zipper. He went near little Jonny and told him: "My dear it would better to say: the office door is open." Next day when the teacher entered the class, unfortunately, his zipper was again open! Little Jonny loudly shouted: "Not only the office door is open but also the teacher is at the door and two small students are beside him."
Vote: has 80.63 % from 113 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, kids, little Johnny, teacher
There were 11 people – ten men and one woman – hanging onto a rope that came down from a helicopter. They all decided that one person should get off, because if they didn’t, the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally, the woman gave a really touching speech saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children, giving in to men, and not receiving anything in return. When she finished speaking, all the men started clapping.
Vote: has 80.61 % from 266 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: husband, kids, life, men, women
A kid walks into a class with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks the teacher asks, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On top of blueberry hill." Then another boy walks in with no shirt and no socks and the teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On top of blueberry hill." Then a girl walks in and the teacher asks, "Where have you been? Oh, let me guess on top of blueberry hill." and the girl says, "No, I am blueberry hill."
Vote: has 80.35 % from 268 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, kids, teacher
Your mama is so ugly, that she made a blind kid cry.
Vote: has 80.28 % from 2262 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: insulting, kids, Yo mama
A kid was crying standing outside his house. A passer by asked: "Why are you crying?" Kid: "My parents are fighting inside the house." Passer by: "Who is your father?" Kid: "That is what the fight is about."
Vote: has 79.97 % from 115 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, kids
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Vote: has 79.67 % from 142 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids, Santa
"Dad, your Father's Day gift is another year of not having to pay for my wedding."
Vote: has 79.57 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, money, wedding
Two little kids are in hospital beds next to each other. The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?” The second kid says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.” The first kid says, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of jelly and ice-cream. It’s a breeze.” “Cool,” says the second kid.” “What are you in here for?” “A circumcision.” “Whoa!” exclaims the second kid. “Good luck, mate. I had that done just after I was born and I couldn’t walk for a year.”
Vote: has 79.48 % from 83 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, hospital, kids
Once upon a time there was a women that was about to have triplets. In her stomach the babies were talking to each other. The first baby says "I want to be a plumber, because there is so much water in here". The second baby says "I want to be an electrician because it is so dark in here". And the last baby says "I want to be a hunter, because if that damn snake comes back in here i'm going to cut it off".
Vote: has 79.47 % from 730 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids, sex, women
My dear old dad always said he had two big disappointments in life: the dog ran away and I didn't.
Vote: has 79.27 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, dog, kids, life


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