The best kids jokes

My kid and I were in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. So I put my hand around my kid and told him "Well son, that's because daddy isn't aroused by men."
Vote: has 79.02 % from 423 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, dad, dirty, kids
In a shop for kids. Peter selects a toy car, comes to the cash desk and gives the cashier money-cards from Monopoly game. The cashier: - Are you stupid? This isn't real money! Peter: - You're stupid. The car is not real either.
Vote: has 78.99 % from 1439 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, kids, money, stupid
Teacher (on phone): "You say Michael has a cold and can't come to school today? To whom am I speaking?" Voice: "This is my father."
Vote: has 78.92 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, health, kids, teacher
I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.
Vote: has 78.77 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: internet, IT, kids, mean, technology
A younboy gave his mum a big wrapped up birthday present on a Saturday. She opened it up and it was a tea pot. She said "What a wonderful tea port darling - thank you." The boy said "That's good." Mum said "However I already have a tea pot." The boy replied "No you haven't - I broke it."
Vote: has 78.55 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: birthday, kids
If you need to break up with somebody, the best place to do so is McDonalds. There are no plates or glasses to be broken over your head, no sharp knives or spiky forks, plus you can always hide behind a fat kid.
Vote: has 78.55 % from 62 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: business, fat, food, kids, relationship
My dear old dad always said he had two big disappointments in life: the dog ran away and I didn't.
Vote: has 78.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, dog, kids, life
One day a boy came home running while crying. His mother asked what happened why are you crying? The boy said`I got punished for something I did not do’. His mother said ‘That’s horrible. what did you not do’. The boy in tears said`my homework’
Vote: has 78.34 % from 721 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, school
*Wakes up to wife and son screaming* Me: "What are you guys yelling about?" Them: "You're driving!"
Vote: has 77.84 % from 82 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, car, kids, wife
Son: Dad, what is an idiot? Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me? Son: No.
Vote: has 77.69 % from 108 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, kids