The best jokes about life

Things our family enjoys together without anyone complaining: 1.
Vote: has 83.81 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, life
In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth... After that, everything else was Made in China.
Vote: has 83.81 % from 470 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, heaven, life
There was three people approaching the gates of heaven But there was only one place left. The gate keeper asked the first man what happened to him because the one with the worst death would go inn. The first man said: "Well imagine that I expected my wife was having an affair, so I got home early to surprise her. I found her in the bathroom with a towel round her so I knew she wasn't having a shower so I search the apartment and found 10 fingers hanging from the window sill. So I started bashing away at them. When he fell god must have loved him, because he lived. So I threw a refrigerator at him. After all the excitement I died of a heart attack." That's horrific said the gate keeper, he asked the second man how he died and he said. "Well imagine this I was riding one of those stationary bike on the top of our apartment building but it went wrong I feel down and grabbed some ones window sill. Then some idiot started bashing ar my fingers then I fell but god must have loved me because i lived then -SHANNOOOWWWW- a refrigerator plunged down at me" That is to horrific. He asked the third man how he died and he said. "Well imagine that I was naked in a refrigerator..."
Vote: has 83.76 % from 172 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, health, heaven, life, wife
Employer: "We need someone responsible for the job." "Sir your search ends here! In my previous job whenever something went wrong,everybody said I was responsible."
Vote: has 83.75 % from 106 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, work
A sixty-four-year-old man is sitting on a park bench, sobbing, when a young man walks by and asks him what's wrong. Through his tears the old man answers, "I'm in love with a twenty-two-year-old woman." "What's wrong with that?" asks the young man. Between his sobs and sniffles, he answers, "You don't understand, every morning before she goes to work, we make love. At lunchtime she comes home and we make love again, and then she makes my favorite meal. In the afternoon when she gets a break, she rushes home and gives me oral sex, the best an old man could want. And then at suppertime, and all night long, we make love." He breaks down, no longer able to speak. The young man puts his arm around him. "I don't understand. It sounds like you have the perfect relationship. Why are you sitting here on this park bench crying?" The senile old man answers, again through his tears, "I forgot where I live."
Vote: has 83.75 % from 179 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
Police: Where do u live? Me: With my parents. Police: Where does ur parents live? Me: With me. Police: Where do u all live? Me: Together. Police: Where is ur house? Me: Next to my neighbors house. Police: Where is your neighbors house? Me: If i tell you u wont believe me. Police: Tell me Me: Next to my house...
Vote: has 83.73 % from 193 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, family, life
Men are divided into two groups: 50% are wise and 50% have married.
Vote: has 83.67 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, marriage, men
Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, "Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?" "Why do you want me to throw them at you?" "Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them." "Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange trout." "Why's that?" "Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take orange trout. That's what she'd like for supper tonight."
Vote: has 83.63 % from 67 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
I found a Justin Bieber concert ticket nailed to a tree, so I took it! You never know when you might need a nail.
Vote: has 83.63 % from 120 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, music
There once was pirate captain who, whenever it looked like a battle would be imminent would change into a red shirt. After observing this behavior for a few months, one of the crew members asked him what it meant. "It's in case I get shot. I don't want you crew members to see blood and freak out." "That's very sensible, sir." At that moment, the crew member spotted eight hostile ships on the horizon. The captain all of a sudden looked very concerned. "Get my brown pants."
Vote: has 83.62 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, life, pirate