Joke #8818

A professor was walking along a very narrow street when he came face to face with a rival professor. The street was too narrow for two to pass. The rival, pulling himself up to his full height, said haughtily: "I never make way for fools!" Smiling, the professor stepped aside and said: "I always do."
Vote: has 81.23 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? A: He didn't have the guts!
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
Funny Lists: Eight ways to say "Your Fly Is Open" 1. The cucumber has left the salad. 2. You've got Windows in your laptop. 3. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position. 4. Your pod bay door is open, Hal. 5. The Buick is not all the way in the garage. 6. Sailor Ned is trying to take a little shore leave. 7. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones. 8. Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
Jake was watching vigilantly at his dying wife's side. "Sleep now, it's all right," he told her. But she kept trying to sit up and said, "Honey, I really need to tell you something." Finally Jake let her get it off her chest. "Jake, honey, I need to tell you something before I die. During the last two months, I slept with your brother, your best friend and your father." "Don't worry about it," Jake said, "I already know. Why do you think I poisoned you?"
Vote: has 53.04 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, life, wife
A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker go to a restaurant in London. The waiter tells them, "Excuse me if you were going to order the steak, I'm afraid there's a shortage due to the mad cow disease." The Texan says, "What's a shortage?" The Russian says, "What's a steak?" The New Yorker says, "What's 'excuse me'?"
Vote: has 81.69 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, life
How many Mafia hitmen does it take to light the bonfire? Three, One to set fire to the effigy, one to watch his back, and one to shoot any witnesses.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands: "Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy. She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren. Love, your son, Joshua. P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table. Call when it is safe for me to come home!"
Vote: has 83.38 % from 497 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, life, relationship, school, vulgar
Sometimes, during the movie previews, I'll turn to the stranger sitting next to me and whisper, "We should really go see that together."
Vote: has 55.34 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
So the buddhist pulls a gun out of his coat and the vendor says, "Whoa whoa whoa, what about inner peace?". The Buddhist responds "This is my inner piece".
Vote: has 81.69 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
I went to blockbusters last night and asked if I could borrow Batman Forever. The bloke at the counter said, "NO you have to bring it back tomorrow!"
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
A driver tucked a note under her windshield wiper and dashed off: "I've circled the block for 20 minutes. I'm late for an appointment and if I don't park here I'll lose my job. Forgive us our trespasses." Returning, she came back only to find a parking ticket and this note: "I've circled the block for 20 years, and if I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job... Lead us not into temptation."
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, life, time