Joke #8818

A professor was walking along a very narrow street when he came face to face with a rival professor. The street was too narrow for two to pass. The rival, pulling himself up to his full height, said haughtily: "I never make way for fools!" Smiling, the professor stepped aside and said: "I always do."
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Some members of a health club were having their first meeting. The director of the group said, "Now, I’d like each of you to give the facts of your daily routine." Several people spoke, admitting their excesses, and then one obviously overweight members said, "I eat moderately, I drink moderately, and I exercise frequently." "Hmm?" said the manager. "And are you sure you having nothing else to add?" "Well, yes," said the member. "I lie extensively."
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Songs are not going to make us do anything we would not ordinarily do. Because if that was the case, the song "Achy Breaky Heart" would have made me kill somebody about a year ago.
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"Doctor I feel like biscuits!" "What, you mean those square ones?" "Yes!" "The ones you put butter on?" "Yes!" "Well, that means you’re crackers!"
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This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?" The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: "Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight..."
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Gordan Ramsey:Theres more smoke in this kitchen than snopp dogg tour bus.
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I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.
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The results of in-depth studies have determined that the most often used sexual position for marriedcouples is the "doggie position". The husband sits up and begs and the wife rolls over and plays dead.
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One night, there was a knock on my door... i open it and no one was there every night I would get the same knock and still no one was there... Untill the morning I was just making myself some tea as a person knocks on my door it was a black man he walk in and stole my tea .... i said to myself did he just mug me .... I still didn't know who was knocking on the doors at night Untill one night I opened my door and there was a floating mug I was still confused.
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Our folk not only knows how to read between the lines but also how to leave a record between the eyes.
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A reporter asked Chris Rock who do you think would win the presidency? He said quickly Obama. When asked why, he replied, has anyone ran a race with a Kenyan and won?
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More jokes about: life, political