The best jokes about life

In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth... After that, everything else was Made in China.
Vote: has 83.68 % from 473 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: god, heaven, life
Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, "Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?" "Why do you want me to throw them at you?" "Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them." "Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange trout." "Why's that?" "Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take orange trout. That's what she'd like for supper tonight."
Vote: has 83.63 % from 67 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
I can't tell if I'm depressed or just an adult.
Vote: has 83.37 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, health, life
A guy drives on the highway and sees a sign that says, "Mississippi State Whorehouse 10 miles." He decides to stop in. A madam answers the door, and the man requests a whore. The madam says, "I'll need $500 first." The man pays, then asks about his whore again. The madam says "Wait for 15 minutes in that hallway. Go straight, left, straight, right, and then go through the door at the end of the hall." He follows the directions, walks out the door and finds himself in the parking lot. His car has a sign on it that says, "Congrats! You've just been screwed by the state of Mississippi!"
Vote: has 83.36 % from 50 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, money, travel
Police: Where do u live? Me: With my parents. Police: Where does ur parents live? Me: With me. Police: Where do u all live? Me: Together. Police: Where is ur house? Me: Next to my neighbors house. Police: Where is your neighbors house? Me: If i tell you u wont believe me. Police: Tell me Me: Next to my house...
Vote: has 83.31 % from 195 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop, family, life
When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.
Vote: has 83.29 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: god, life, religious
The Pope and Nancy Pelosi are on stage in front of a huge crowd. The Pope leaned towards Mrs. Pelosi and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!" Pelosi replied, "I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!" So the Pope slapped her.
Vote: has 83.24 % from 88 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, life
Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress only yourself. Moral: In life no one helps you once you're fucked.
Vote: has 83.19 % from 241 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, sex, vulgar
When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it's "art" and "music"... but when I do it, I'm "wasted" and "have to leave Home Depot".
Vote: has 83.08 % from 151 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, life, music
Q: Why are politicians like diapers? A: Both should be changed regularly and for the same reason.
Vote: has 82.86 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life


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