The best little Johnny jokes

Little Johnny asks his father for a $200 bicycle for his birthday. Johnny's father says, "We have an $80,000 mortgage on the house, and I just got laid off! There won't be a $200 bike this year." Two days later, Little Johnny walks out of the house with all his belongings in a suitcase. His father asks him why he's leaving. Johnny says, "Early this morning, I was walking past your room, and I heard you tell Mommy that you were pulling out, and Mommy said that you should wait because she was coming too, and I'll be damned if I'll get stuck with an $80,000 mortgage!"
Vote:
has 65.22 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny
Teaching an English lesson, the teacher wrote on the board, fully aware of the grammar errors: "I ain't had no fun in months" "Now, how should I correct this sentence." "Get a new boyfriend," said Little Johnny.
Vote:
has 65.16 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny
Little Johnny was in his maths lesson one day when his teacher asked him a question to see if he was paying attention. "If I gave you 20," she began, "and you gave 5 to Mary, 5 to Sally and 5 to Susan, what would you have?" Johnny thought about this and then answered, "An orgy?"
Vote:
has 65.13 % from 135 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny
One day little Johnny was walking up a hill pulling his red wagon behind him saying, "F**k this," "F**k that." The town priest hears this and walks up to Johnny and says,"You shouldn't swear like that, Johnny. God is all around us." "Is he in the sky?" asks Johnny. "Yes," says the priest. "Is he in that bush over there?" asks Johnny. "Yes," says the priest." Is he in my wagon?" asked Johnny. "Yes," says the priest. "Well tell him to get the f**k out and push!"
Vote:
has 65.05 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: god, little Johnny, priest
Johnny asked his mom how to deal with a girl at school who liked him a lot. His mom told him to find out how she really feels. Johnny asked how to do this and his mom told him to beat around the bush. Johnny then said, "what, just like you and dad do??"
Vote:
has 64.96 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny
A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. Little Johnny replied: "They couldn't get a baby sitter."
Vote:
has 64.79 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny
Little Lucy met Little Johnny after school and ask him, "Johnny do you you think I'm cute?" Little Johnny looked at her from head to toe irritably and replied. "Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey. And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you".
Vote:
has 64.46 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: beauty, kids, little Johnny, mean, poems
Dad: "I heard you missed school yesterday." Little Johnny: "Not a bit."
Vote:
has 64.23 % from 253 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, school
Johny visits the psychiatrist and tells him: "Lately I have a big problem with my memory." The psychiatrist asks Johny: "And how does it demonstrate concretely?" Johny: "What?"
Vote:
has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, doctor, little Johnny, memory
On Sunday little Johnny with his dad went for bathing. The ground was slippery. So poor boy for avoiding of knocking down grabbed his father's penis. His father smiled and told him: "Oh boy you are lucky. If you were with your mother you were concussion!"
Vote:
has 63.58 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, health, little Johnny, women
<<<18192021
More jokes →
Page 18 of 24.