The best little Johnny jokes

Passing an office building late one night, a little Johnny saw a sign that said, “Press bell for night watchman.” He did so, and after several minutes he heard the watchman clomping down the stairs. The old, uniformed man proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally made his way through the revolving door. “Well,” he snarled at the kid, “what do you want?” “I just wanted to know why you can’t ring it for yourself…?”
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has 64.40 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny
A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. Little Johnny replied: "They couldn't get a baby sitter."
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has 64.25 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny
Employee: "Hi welcome to McDonald's what can I get you today." Little Johnny: "Can I get some McWater, A McNumber10, and a McCoke." Employee: "Sir you know you don't have to put Mc in front of anything you order." Little Johnny: "Ok I just really like Donald's." Employee: "Sir its McDonald's." Little Johnny: "Ma'am you don't have to put Mc in front of everything."
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has 64.21 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: business, communication, customer service, food, little Johnny
Teacher: "Little Johnny can you say a sentence to use with dirty words? Little Johnny: "Yesterday my school was late so I had to run in order to reach on time." Teacher: "You didn't use any bad word in your sentence." Little Johnny: "Well, when I was running I farted many times!"
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has 64.19 % from 363 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, fart, little Johnny, teacher
Teacher: "Who knows 5+5=?" Little Johnny: "11" Teacher: "Take out your hand from trousers pocket and count with your fingers."
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has 63.76 % from 205 votes. More jokes about: dirty, little Johnny, math, stupid, teacher
Dad: "I heard you missed school yesterday." Little Johnny: "Not a bit."
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has 63.74 % from 279 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, school
At school one day, the teacher was trying to approach the topic of sex education and asked her students if they'd ever seen anything that was related to sex education on TV. Mary raised her hand and said she had seen a movie about women having babies. "Great," said the teacher, "that's very important." Then Judy raised her hand and told the teacher she had seen a TV show about people getting married. "Well, that has to do with it too," said the teacher. Then Johnny raised his hand and said he had seen a western where some Indians came riding over the hill and John Wayne shot them all. The teacher said, "Well, Johnny, that really doesn't have anything to do with sex education." "Yes it does," said Johnny, " it taught those Indians not to f**k with John Wayne."
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has 63.32 % from 149 votes. More jokes about: baby, little Johnny, school, sex, teacher
One day the kids in Ms. Evans science class was disagreeing with her. Ms. Evans was talking about evolution. Ms. Evans was and atheist so she didn't believe in God. Then Johnny raised his hand and said, "But I thought God created mankind?" Ms. Evans then replied, "Well can you see God?" "No." "Hear God?" "No." "Feel God?" "No." This went on for quite a while. "Well then God doesn't exist." Then Johnny whispered back to his friend Jimmy, "Can you see Ms. Evan's brain. No, so that must not exist."
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has 63.10 % from 274 votes. More jokes about: atheist, god, insulting, little Johnny, school
Johnny was racing around the garden on his new bicycle and called out to his mother to watch his tricks. "Look, Mum! No hands! Look, Mum! No feet! Waaah! Look, Mum! No teeth!"
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has 62.98 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: kids, little Johnny
Teacher: "Who can tell a story?" Little Johnny: "Our maid's ass." Teacher: "Why?" Little Johnny: "Last night daddy touched her ass and was whispering: 'A wonderful story.'"
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has 62.82 % from 185 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, little Johnny, teacher, vulgar
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