The best love jokes

In the beautiful world of fantasy, holding hands is the first sign of true love. In college it means someone is too drunk to stand on their own.
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has 57.55 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: beauty, college, drunk, love, school
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence–a life sentence. Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind. Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes. Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings": * The Engagement Ring * The Wedding Ring * The Suffe-Ring * The Endu-Ring
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has 57.04 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: life, love, marriage, wedding
Girl: "Do you believe in puppy love?" Boy: "I tried it once, but their assholes are too small."
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has 57.03 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dirty, dog, love, sex
Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, love
Three women talk about their husband's performance as lovers. The first woman says, "My husband is a marriage counselor, so he always buys me flowers and candy before we make love." The second woman says, "My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and use leather sometimes." The third woman shakes her head and says, "My husband works for an Internet company. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it's going to be when I get it."
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has 56.76 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: husband, love, marriage, women
A dentist, an electrician, and a carpenter decide to play a practical joke their best friend on his wedding night. "I'll loosen some joints on his bed so it collapses when he's making love," says the carpenter. "I'll hot wire his mattress so they'll feel immense heat while making love," says the electrician. "Those are good ideas," says the dentist. "But my contribution's going to be a real surprise." The next day the new husband comes to the diner to meet his friends. He says "I congratulate you guys for making the bed heat up and collapse, but I'm gonna kill whichever one of you put novocaine in the massage oil!"
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has 56.23 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: love, marriage, wedding
When Adam asked Eve out for dinner she replied: "Oh I'd love to, but I haven't a thing to wear."
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: god, love, women
After a lengthy quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied: "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."
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has 56.02 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: husband, love, marriage, wife
Do you believe in love at first set? Or should I curl this barbell another 10 times?
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: fitness, flirt, love
Gay translation I want a commitment. I'm sick of masturbation. Haven't I seen you before? Nice ass. I need you. My hand is tired. You're the only man I've ever cared about. You are the only man who hasn't rejected me. I'm a Romantic. I'm poor. I really want to get to know you better. So I can tell my friends about it. It's just orange juice, try it. 3 more shots, and he'll have his legs around my head. He's kinda cute. I want to have sex with him till my dick turns blue! He's not my type. He won't sleep with me. I miss you so much I am so horny that my dog is starting to look good. I had a wonderful time last night. Who the hell are you? Do you love me? I've done something stupid and you might find out. Do you 'really' love me? I've done something stupid and you're going to find out. I'll give you a call. I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again. I've been thinking a lot. You're not as attractive as when I was drunk. I think we should just be friends. You're ugly. I've learned a lot from you. Next!!!!
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has 55.20 % from 245 votes. More jokes about: animal, gay, love, masturbation, ugly
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