The best management jokes

The fastest, most effective way to learn about servant leadership is to take a puppy for a walk.
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: dog, management
Q: How is a boss better than a wife? A: A boss at least pays you for making your life miserable.
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: life, management, money, wife
By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you." "No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it." The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" Asked the manager. "Never better." The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring, then?" "Nope, I shut him up in no time." Said the Marine. "How'd you manage that?" asked the manager. "He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the Marine explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."
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has 69.02 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: beauty, gay, management, navy
The main distinction between a boss and the Pope is the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
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has 68.80 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: christian, insulting, management
I'm not usually one to tell someone how to do their job, which is probably why my promotion to management only lasted a week.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: management, time, work
If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: management, prison
Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb? A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: geek, IT, light bulb, management, technology
A 21-year-old is hired by a hardware store. He shows up for his first day of work at 8 AM sharp. The boss welcomes him, then hands him a broom. "First, sweep out the store. Then I'll show you where the window cleaning equipment is." "Sir," the young man protests. "You can't be serious. I'm a college graduate." "Oh, sorry," says the manager, pointing to the broom. "No problem. I can show you how that thing works."
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: graduation, insulting, management, work
Our staff has completed the 3 years of work on time and under budget. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change. We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y-to-K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data to reflect the following new standards: Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December and... Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this Y-to-K problem has made any sense to me. But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible.And what does the year 2000 have to do with it? Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to do next year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00? We await your direction.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: IT, management, money, time
John: "Hey can I borrow some money? I'm broke." Michael: "Get money from your job." John: "I got fired." Michael: "Why?" John: "My boss told me to leave all my problems behind the door, so I told him to stand outside." Michael: "This is why we are friends."
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has 65.91 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: friendship, life, management, money, work
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