The best management jokes

HR manager to job candidate: ‘I see you’ve had no computer training. Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you’re under-qualified for our entry level positions.’
Vote: has 67.69 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, management
If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: management, prison
Q: How is a boss better than a wife? A: A boss at least pays you for making your life miserable.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, management, money, wife
Gilding the lily is a job seeker's birthright. Here are a few doozies, where the applicant claimed: - to be a former CEO of the company to which he was applying. - to be fluent in two languages—one of which was pig Latin. - to be a Nobel Prize winner. - to have worked in a jail when he was really in there serving time. - he was fired "on accident."
Vote: has 66.60 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, management, prison, stupid, work
A guy went to an electric shop and said: "By a lot of excuse, do you mind me to buy a lamp please?" A manager said: "It isn't necessarily so much apologizes for buying a lamp." The guy said: "Sorry I wanted for installing it in WC."
Vote: has 66.50 % from 77 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: customer service, dirty, management
Mission Statement: A long awkward sentence that demonstrates management's inability to think clearly.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, management, stupid
John: "Hey can I borrow some money? I'm broke." Michael: "Get money from your job." John: "I got fired." Michael: "Why?" John: "My boss told me to leave all my problems behind the door, so I told him to stand outside." Michael: "This is why we are friends."
Vote: has 65.80 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: friendship, life, management, money, work
Our staff has completed the 3 years of work on time and under budget. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change. We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y-to-K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data to reflect the following new standards: Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December and... Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this Y-to-K problem has made any sense to me. But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible.And what does the year 2000 have to do with it? Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to do next year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00? We await your direction.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, management, money, time
I'm not usually one to tell someone how to do their job, which is probably why my promotion to management only lasted a week.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: management, time, work
A boss has to fire one of 2 workers, Jack and Jill. However, Both Jack and Jill are skilled workers and he is finding it really, really difficult to pick. So after their shifts, Jack goes home before Jill does, and the boss goes over to Jill just before she gets into her car. He informs her of his dilemma. "Hey Jill, I have a problem." "Ok Boss, what is it?" she asks "I Can't decide whether to lay you or Jack off, what would you suggest?" "Well, you'd better get the vasoline, i'm going home!"
Vote: has 64.72 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, management, masturbation, work