The best management jokes

HR manager to job candidate: ‘I see you’ve had no computer training. Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you’re under-qualified for our entry level positions.’
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has 67.69 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: IT, management
If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: management, prison
Three fans were bemoaning the sorry state of their football team. "I blame the general manager," said the first fan. "If he signed better players, we'd be a great team." "I blame the players," said the 
second fan. "If they made more of 
an effort, we'd score some points." "I blame my parents," said the third. "If I'd been born in Seattle, 
I'd be supporting a decent team."
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: family, football, geography, management, sport
A well known TV Evangelists is booking into a posh hotel. He tells the duty manager, "I hope the porn channel is set to disabled" The manager looks at him and replies, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard!"
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has 67.15 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dirty, holiday, management, religious
I'm not usually one to tell someone how to do their job, which is probably why my promotion to management only lasted a week.
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: management, time, work
The new office-boy came into his boss's office and said, "I think you re wanted on the phone, sir." "What d you mean, you think?" demanded the boss. "Well, sir, the phone rang, I answered it and a voice said is that you, you old fool?"
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: communication, management, mean, office, phone
Mission Statement: A long awkward sentence that demonstrates management's inability to think clearly.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: communication, management, stupid
When the office printer color started to look a little off the manager called the local repair shop. To the manager's surprise, the clerk said that it would cost $50 but that he might try reading the manual and doing it himself. The manager replied in astonishment, does your boss know that you discourage business that way? "Yes", replied the clerk. It was his idea. We make more on repairs than cleaning printers if the owner tries to do it himself first.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: management, money, office, technology
John: "Hey can I borrow some money? I'm broke." Michael: "Get money from your job." John: "I got fired." Michael: "Why?" John: "My boss told me to leave all my problems behind the door, so I told him to stand outside." Michael: "This is why we are friends."
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: friendship, life, management, money, work
By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you." "No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it." The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" Asked the manager. "Never better." The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring, then?" "Nope, I shut him up in no time." Said the Marine. "How'd you manage that?" asked the manager. "He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the Marine explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."
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has 64.93 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: beauty, gay, management, navy
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