The best management jokes

The clerk walks into the boss's office and says, "The auditors have just left, sir." "Have they finished checking the books?", asks the boss. "Very thoroughly," is the reply. "Well, what did they say", says the boss. "They want 15% to keep quiet."
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, management, money
When the office printer color started to look a little off the manager called the local repair shop. To the manager's surprise, the clerk said that it would cost $50 but that he might try reading the manual and doing it himself. The manager replied in astonishment, does your boss know that you discourage business that way? "Yes", replied the clerk. It was his idea. We make more on repairs than cleaning printers if the owner tries to do it himself first.
Vote: has 73.52 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: management, money, office, technology
On a Roman warship, the galley boss looked over his slaves and shouted, "Today I have good news. All of you are getting extra food tonight." The slaves all looked at him in silence, except one decrepit old man in the back, who moaned, "Oh God, no, not again." A new slave next to him asked, "Why are you moaning?" "This only happens when the Captain's nephew wants to water ski."
Vote: has 73.44 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, food, management, sport, war
Q: How can you tell when the chief accountant is getting soft? A: When he actually listens to marketing before saying no.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, management, money
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store." "But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom – I'll show you how."
Vote: has 70.55 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: college, graduation, management, stupid, work
When you give birth to a great idea at work, your boss should give you 2 weeks of maternity leave.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: management, work
A boss has to fire one of 2 workers, Jack and Jill. However, Both Jack and Jill are skilled workers and he is finding it really, really difficult to pick. So after their shifts, Jack goes home before Jill does, and the boss goes over to Jill just before she gets into her car. He informs her of his dilemma. "Hey Jill, I have a problem." "Ok Boss, what is it?" she asks "I Can't decide whether to lay you or Jack off, what would you suggest?" "Well, you'd better get the vasoline, i'm going home!"
Vote: has 69.30 % from 50 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, management, masturbation, work
Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb? A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: geek, IT, light bulb, management, technology
A well known TV Evangelists is booking into a posh hotel. He tells the duty manager, "I hope the porn channel is set to disabled" The manager looks at him and replies, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard!"
Vote: has 68.56 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, holiday, management, religious
Q: How is a boss better than a wife? A: A boss at least pays you for making your life miserable.
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, management, money, wife