The best management jokes

The main distinction between a boss and the Pope is the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
Vote: has 73.52 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: christian, insulting, management
The clerk walks into the boss's office and says, "The auditors have just left, sir." "Have they finished checking the books?", asks the boss. "Very thoroughly," is the reply. "Well, what did they say", says the boss. "They want 15% to keep quiet."
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More jokes about: accountant, management, money
A guy went to an electric shop and said: "By a lot of excuse, do you mind me to buy a lamp please?" A manager said: "It isn't necessarily so much apologizes for buying a lamp." The guy said: "Sorry I wanted for installing it in WC."
Vote: has 70.72 % from 73 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: customer service, dirty, management
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store." "But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom – I'll show you how."
Vote: has 70.18 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: college, graduation, management, stupid, work
A well known TV Evangelists is booking into a posh hotel. He tells the duty manager, "I hope the porn channel is set to disabled" The manager looks at him and replies, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard!"
Vote: has 70.18 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, holiday, management, religious
When you give birth to a great idea at work, your boss should give you 2 weeks of maternity leave.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: management, work
Gilding the lily is a job seeker's birthright. Here are a few doozies, where the applicant claimed: - to be a former CEO of the company to which he was applying. - to be fluent in two languages—one of which was pig Latin. - to be a Nobel Prize winner. - to have worked in a jail when he was really in there serving time. - he was fired "on accident."
Vote: has 69.86 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, management, prison, stupid, work
A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?" The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler." "I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield." The general said, "Drive on!" The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker." The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!" The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the driver?"
Vote: has 69.55 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, car, death, management, military
Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb? A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: geek, IT, light bulb, management, technology
Three fans were bemoaning the sorry state of their football team. "I blame the general manager," said the first fan. "If he signed better players, we'd be a great team." "I blame the players," said the 
second fan. "If they made more of 
an effort, we'd score some points." "I blame my parents," said the third. "If I'd been born in Seattle, 
I'd be supporting a decent team."
Vote: has 68.80 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, football, geography, management, sport