The best management jokes

The new office-boy came into his boss's office and said, "I think you re wanted on the phone, sir." "What d you mean, you think?" demanded the boss. "Well, sir, the phone rang, I answered it and a voice said is that you, you old fool?"
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, management, mean, office, phone
I'm not usually one to tell someone how to do their job, which is probably why my promotion to management only lasted a week.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: management, time, work
By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you." "No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it." The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" Asked the manager. "Never better." The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring, then?" "Nope, I shut him up in no time." Said the Marine. "How'd you manage that?" asked the manager. "He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the Marine explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."
Vote: has 63.61 % from 48 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, gay, management, navy
Just had an argument with the manager in McDonald's. What a clown!
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More jokes about: communication, management
Q: Why do Soviet soldiers always miss? A: They have terrible Marxmanship.
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: ethnic, management, war
A 21-year-old is hired by a hardware store. He shows up for his first day of work at 8 AM sharp. The boss welcomes him, then hands him a broom. "First, sweep out the store. Then I'll show you where the window cleaning equipment is." "Sir," the young man protests. "You can't be serious. I'm a college graduate." "Oh, sorry," says the manager, pointing to the broom. "No problem. I can show you how that thing works."
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: graduation, insulting, management, work
Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, insulting, management, office, stupid
My boss is in the process of filling an open manager position. I asked him to please hire a man because women are crazy. He agreed with me. I got upset that he agreed. I'm pretty sure I unintentionally proved my point.
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, management, mean, women, work
There was this nouveau riche blond girl, who went to the nearest Mercedes showroom with a pocketful of dollars, and came out with the latest model. Half an hour later she was back at the showroom, claiming a that the car they sold her was terrible, that she was disappointed a brand-new Mercedes would get a fault in the gearbox after 15 minutes. The management apologized and gave her a new car. Again, after half an hour she came back. The management offered her a new car, but sent along one of their engineers to see if they could figure out what the problem was. She put in the first gear...speed up...put in second...third...fourth...fifth... “And now,” she said, “for the rocket,” and threw it in reverse.
Vote: has 55.71 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, management
Standing in line at a restaurant, I noticed that the few available tables left had not been cleaned off. I mentioned this to the cashier, who told the manager. A minute later, an annoyed-looking teen emerged from the back with a spray bottle and paper towels in hand. "All right," she bellowed clear across the crowded dining room, "which one of you people wanted a clean table?"
Vote: has 50.70 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, management, stupid


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