The best memory jokes

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" "Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques, visualization, association,it made a huge difference for me." "That's great! What was the name of the clinic?" Fred went blank He thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?" "You mean a rose?" "Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife, "Rose, what was the name of that clinic?"
Vote:
has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: hospital, medical, memory, old people, wife
Knock knock. Who's there? Déja. Déja who? Knock knock.
Vote:
has 62.50 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock, life, memory
Remember my name, because you'll be screaming it later!
Vote:
has 61.50 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, memory, sex, time
Yo mama is so old that God doesn't remember her.
Vote:
has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: age, god, memory, Yo mama
Me: "Will you Remember me in a day?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Will you remember me in a week?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Will you remember me in a month?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Will you remember me in a year?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Ok, I have a joke. Her: "Ok." Me: "Knock, knock." Her: "Who's there?" Me: "You didn't remember me."
Vote:
has 59.76 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: communication, knock-knock, memory, relationship
Q: Do you know why women over fifty don't have babies? A: They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
Vote:
has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: age, baby, memory, women
I keep getting bills from the Memory Erasing Clinic but I've never been there.
Vote:
has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: hospital, memory, money
In the dim and distant past, when life's tempo wasn't so fast, Grandma used to rock and knit, Crochet, tat and babysit. When the kids were in a jam, they could always call on Gram. However, today she's in the gym exercising to keep slim. She's checking the web or surfing the net, sending some e-mail or placing a bet. Nothing seems to stop or block her, now that Grandma's off her rocker.
Vote:
has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: gym, kids, memory, old people, time
Police Officer says "We'll never forget 9/11..." In my mind: "I hope not It's your damn number!"
Vote:
has 53.57 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: cop, history, memory, phone, stupid
A retiree and his aged wife started having problems in remembering, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor's, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor tells them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the wife got up from her chair and her retired husband asks, "Where are you going?" She replies, "To the kitchen." he asks "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" She replies, "Sure." he then asks him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" She says, "No, I can remember that." he then says, "Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down cause I know you'll forget that." She says, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." he replies, "Well, I also would like whip cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down." With irritation in her voice, she says, "I don't need to write that down, I can remember that." She then fumes into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes she returns from the kitchen and hands him a plate of bacon and eggs. He stares at the plate for a moment and says, "You forgot my toast."
Vote:
has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: food, memory, old people, technology, wife
<<<456
More jokes →
Page 4 of 6.