How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.
Me: "Will you Remember me in a day?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Will you remember me in a week?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Will you remember me in a month?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Will you remember me in a year?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Ok, I have a joke. Her: "Ok." Me: "Knock, knock." Her: "Who's there?" Me: "You didn't remember me."
Knock knock. Who's there? Déja. Déja who? Knock knock.
Remember my name, because you'll be screaming it later!
Yo mama is so old that God doesn't remember her.
I keep getting bills from the Memory Erasing Clinic but I've never been there.
I remember my guidance counselor. The guy studied for years for his job, and deepest thing he ever said to me was, "You have your whole life ahead of you."
Q: Do you know why women over fifty don't have babies? A: They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
Police Officer says "We'll never forget 9/11..." In my mind: "I hope not It's your damn number!"
Doctor (to an absent-minded patient): "What is wrong with you?" Patient: "I am losing my memory. Please prescribe some medicine." Doctor (Handing him the prescription after a while): "Here, Take this." Patient: "Why are you giving me this prescription? I am perfectly all right."