Joke #13420

Knock knock. Who's there? Déja. Déja who? Knock knock.

A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience. He said: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!" The audience was in silence and shock. The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!" Laughter and applause. A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home during a small party. He was a bit foggy after having a drink or two. He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!" The wife went red with shock and rage. Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, with the guests not saying a word, the manager finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who she was!"

Fast way to screw up someone's Knock Knock joke...? "It's open."

Me: "Will you Remember me in a day?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Will you remember me in a week?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Will you remember me in a month?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Will you remember me in a year?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Ok, I have a joke. Her: "Ok." Me: "Knock, knock." Her: "Who's there?" Me: "You didn't remember me."

Knock Knock. Who's there? Opportunity. Don't be silly - opportunity doesn't knock twice!

Knock, knock! Who's there? Opportunity! That is impossible. Opportunity doesn't come knocking twice!

One night, there was a knock on my door... i open it and no one was there every night I would get the same knock and still no one was there... Untill the morning I was just making myself some tea as a person knocks on my door it was a black man he walk in and stole my tea .... i said to myself did he just mug me .... I still didn't know who was knocking on the doors at night Untill one night I opened my door and there was a floating mug I was still confused.

Knock knock. Who's there? Allahu Akbar. Allahu AK- BOOM!!!

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" "Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques, visualization, association,it made a huge difference for me." "That's great! What was the name of the clinic?" Fred went blank He thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?" "You mean a rose?" "Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife, "Rose, what was the name of that clinic?"

I kind a feel sorry for Hitler. Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.

I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.