Joke #13420

Knock knock. Who's there? Déja. Déja who? Knock knock.
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has 61.40 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock, life, memory

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A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience. He said: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!" The audience was in silence and shock. The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!" Laughter and applause. A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home during a small party. He was a bit foggy after having a drink or two. He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!" The wife went red with shock and rage. Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, with the guests not saying a word, the manager finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who she was!"
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has 81.60 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: life, management, memory, time, women
Fast way to screw up someone's Knock Knock joke...? "It's open."
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has 68.27 % from 644 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock, life
Knock Knock. Who's there? Opportunity. Don't be silly - opportunity doesn't knock twice!
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has 62.66 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock, life
Me: "Will you Remember me in a day?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Will you remember me in a week?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Will you remember me in a month?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Will you remember me in a year?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Ok, I have a joke. Her: "Ok." Me: "Knock, knock." Her: "Who's there?" Me: "You didn't remember me."
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has 61.19 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: communication, knock-knock, memory, relationship
Knock, knock! Who's there? Opportunity! That is impossible. Opportunity doesn't come knocking twice!
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has 55.00 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock, life
One night, there was a knock on my door... i open it and no one was there every night I would get the same knock and still no one was there... Untill the morning I was just making myself some tea as a person knocks on my door it was a black man he walk in and stole my tea .... i said to myself did he just mug me .... I still didn't know who was knocking on the doors at night Untill one night I opened my door and there was a floating mug I was still confused.
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has 35.61 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock, life
Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? Bless you.
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has 65.56 % from 140 votes. More jokes about: communication, knock-knock
Two hunters from Moscow charter a small plane to fly them to Siberia to go bear hunting. On landing, the pilot says, "Remember, this plane can only fly with two hunters, one pilot, and ONE bear." The hunters go out and return with two bears. So the pilot says, "I told you ONE bear!" But the hunters point out that the previous year, on payment of an extra 100 rubles, the pilot had let them put two bears on board. After long discussion centering on the impossibility of the thing and the disgraceful degree of inflation, the pilot takes 200 rubles and with much pushing and shoving the hunters get aboard with the two bears. After struggling into the air and fitfully flying for about two hours, the plane gives up and plummets to the earth in a snowbank. Climbing out from under the snow and the bears, the hunters ask the pilot where he thinks they are. The pilot says, "About the same place where we crashed last year."
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has 78.93 % from 207 votes. More jokes about: airplane, animal, hunting, life, travel
Police Officer says "We'll never forget 9/11..." In my mind: "I hope not It's your damn number!"
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has 53.57 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: cop, history, memory, phone, stupid
A government is doing really bad and is very likely to lose the election. So they gather the cabinet to deal with the situation. "Guys we do not go well, we will lose power, we will lose everything. We need to do something" the prime minister said. A minister pops up and says: "We will redecorate! We will change desks, chairs, sofas, floors, curtains, everything will be changed." The others also agree and start to make plans. So sometime later, the maid comes inside, and she sees them so upset all working hard making plans, and says: "What about you guys, What is going on?" "We do not go well as government and we are changing the decoration" they reply. The maid shrugs tentatively. "Why do you react like that?" "What can I tell you guys" she answers. "Before I came here for work, I used to work in a brothel. And when business didn’t go well, we did not change the furniture, but the hookers."
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has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: life