Joke #13420

Knock knock. Who's there? Déja. Déja who? Knock knock.
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More jokes about: knock-knock, life, memory

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A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience. He said: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!" The audience was in silence and shock. The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!" Laughter and applause. A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home during a small party. He was a bit foggy after having a drink or two. He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!" The wife went red with shock and rage. Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, with the guests not saying a word, the manager finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who she was!"
Vote: has 78.55 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, management, memory, time, women
Fast way to screw up someone's Knock Knock joke...? "It's open."
Vote: has 73.75 % from 463 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: knock-knock, life
Knock Knock. Who's there? Opportunity. Don't be silly - opportunity doesn't knock twice!
Vote: has 63.32 % from 140 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: knock-knock, life
Knock, knock! Who's there? Opportunity! That is impossible. Opportunity doesn't come knocking twice!
Vote: has 61.71 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: knock-knock, life
One night, there was a knock on my door... i open it and no one was there every night I would get the same knock and still no one was there... Untill the morning I was just making myself some tea as a person knocks on my door it was a black man he walk in and stole my tea .... i said to myself did he just mug me .... I still didn't know who was knocking on the doors at night Untill one night I opened my door and there was a floating mug I was still confused.
Vote: has 42.06 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: knock-knock, life
Knock, knock! Who's there? Spell. Spell who? W-H-O.
Vote: has 72.60 % from 61 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, knock-knock
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is." "Of course I do," he irritatingly answered, going out the door to the office. At 11 AM, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a bouquet of red roses. At 2 PM, a two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. "First the flowers, then the chocolates, and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful ‘Independence day' in all my life!"
Vote: has 50.64 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, husband, life, marriage, time
Nothing beats a woman with a beautiful singing voice. Except for Chris Brown.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
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Benefits of having Alzheimer's: You can wrap your own presents. You are always meeting new friends.
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: friendship, health, memory
A man in a bar had a couple of beers, and the bartender told him he owed 4 dollars. "But I paid, don't you remember?" said the customer. "Okay," said the bartender. "If you say you paid, you did. The man then went outside and told a friend that the bartender couldn't keep track of his customers' bills. The second man then rushed in and ordered a beer. When it came time to pay he pulled the same stunt. The barkeep replied, "If you say you paid, I'll take your word for it." Soon the customer went into the street, saw an old friend, and told him how to get free drinks. The man hurried into the bar and began to drink high balls when, suddenly, the bartender leaned over and said, "You know, a funny thing happened in here tonight. Two men were drinking beer, neither paid and both claimed that they did. The next guy who tries that is going to get punched right in the nose." "Don't bother me with your troubles," the final patron responded. "Just give me my change and I'll be on my way."
Vote: has 74.72 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bar, bartender, beer, memory, money