The best money jokes

Girls are like an internet virus: they enter your life, scan your pockets, transfer money, edit your mind, download their problems and delete your smile...
Vote: has 75.02 % from 151 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: internet, money, women
The clerk walks into the boss's office and says, "The auditors have just left, sir." "Have they finished checking the books?", asks the boss. "Very thoroughly," is the reply. "Well, what did they say", says the boss. "They want 15% to keep quiet."
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, management, money
Q: Why don't you ask Yoda for money? A: He is always a little to short.
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More jokes about: celebrity, communication, money
Q: How do you know you've got a good tax accountant? A: He's had a loophole named after him.
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, money, tax
Walking into a lawyers office, a man asked what his rates were. "Fifty dollars for three questions," the lawyer stated. "Isn't that awfully expensive?" the man asked?" "Yes," replied the lawyer. "What's your third question?"
Vote: has 74.94 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer, money
Q: What is the definition of "accountant"? A: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
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More jokes about: accountant, money, work
In order to help jump-start the U.S. economy, the INS has announced that this year they will stop focusing on illegal aliens, and begin the deportation of retired people. It's predicted that this will not only help lower health care entitlement costs, but it turns out that retirees are much easier to catch. Plus, they rarely can remember how to get back home.
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More jokes about: black humor, geography, memory, money, old people
A lady says to the psychiatrist, "I think I might be a nymphomaniac." He says, "I'll see what I can do to help you. My fee is eighty dollars an hour." She says, "How much for all night?"
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More jokes about: dirty, doctor, money, sex, time
Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two years and cost over $1.2 million. The study concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft was to provide the man with more pleasure during sex. After the results were published, France decided to conduct their own study on the same subject. They were convinced that the results of the British study was incorrect. After three years of research at a cost of in excess of $2 million, the French researchers concluded that the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more pleasure during sex. When the results of the French study were released, Canada decided to conduct their own study. The Canucks didn't really trust British or French studies. So, after nearly three weeks of intensive research and a cost of right around $75.00, the Canadian study was complete. They concluded that the reason the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent your hand from flying off and hitting you in the forehead!
Vote: has 74.92 % from 114 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, money, sex
We were so poor, we had to go to KFC to lick other people’s fingers.
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More jokes about: food, money


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