The best money jokes

Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much? A: They're cheaper than day rates.
has 74.73 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, money
"Dad, your Father's Day gift is another year of not having to pay for my wedding."
has 74.72 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, money, wedding
One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, "How much is the yellow one?" The assistant says, "$2000." The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive. The assistant explains, "This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast." "What about the green one?" the man asks. The assistant says, "He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes." "What about the red one?" the man asks. The assistant says, "That one's $10,000." The man says, "What does HE do?" The assistant says, "I don't know, but the other two call him boss."
has 74.50 % from 130 votes. More jokes about: animal, money, parrot, phone
Q: How do you know if Asians are moving into the neighborhood? A: The Mexicans start buying car insurance.
has 74.48 % from 664 votes. More jokes about: asian, car, ethnic, mexican, money
Jeff Bezos has invested $42 million to build a huge 500-foot tall underground clock that ticks once per year for 10,000 years. He did this because he overheard his wife talking to a friend, he thought she said she wished he had a larger clock...
has 74.45 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: business, friendship, money, time, wife
The clerk walks into the boss's office and says, "The auditors have just left, sir." "Have they finished checking the books?", asks the boss. "Very thoroughly," is the reply. "Well, what did they say", says the boss. "They want 15% to keep quiet."
has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: accountant, management, money
Q: Why did the programmer quit his job? A: Because he didn't get arrays.
has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: IT, money, programmer, work
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said "I'm here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything." "That's quite a coincidence", said the engineer, "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything." The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?", he asked.
has 74.28 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: black humor, fish, lawyer, money, work
It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
has 74.20 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: money, political, weather
Q: What do you get when you give a blonde a penny for her thoughts? A: Change.
has 74.20 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: blonde, money, stupid
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