Yo mama so poor, when she found a penny she thought she had hit the lottery.
I'm so broke, I don't even get excited when I find money because I'm sure I owe it to someone.
A 60-year-old millionaire has just married a 20-year-old model. ‘You crafty old devil,’ says his friend. ‘How did you manage to get a lovely young wife like that?’ ‘Easy,’ replies the millionaire. ‘I told her I was 95.’
A one dollar bill met a twenty dollar bill and said, "Hey, where’ve you been? I haven’t seen you around here much." The twenty answered, "I’ve been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for awhile, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?" The one dollar bill said, "You know, same old stuff… church, church, church." essories for it.
I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake. A bittersweet victory.
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much? A: They're cheaper than day rates.
Q: Why is a blood bank more profitable than a sperm bank? A: The sperm is handmade.
Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter? A: Sue. Q: And his son? A: Bill.
Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? Noah - he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.
Yo mama so poor that when I stepped on a cigarette she said "who turned off the heat?"