The best music jokes

Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
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has 36.89 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, celebrity, dirty, drug, music
Michael Jackson does moonwalk because he doesn't have time to turn and run away from Chuck Norris.
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has 36.23 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music, time
The Beatles originally sang "All you need is Chuck Norris".
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has 35.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music
A little monster was learning to play the violin,' I'm good, aren't I?' he asked his big brother. 'You should be on the radio,' said his brother. 'You think I'm that good?' 'No, I think you're terrible, but if you were on the radio, I could switch you off !
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: money, music
Q: Who hangs out with musicians but isn't a musician? A: Drummers.
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: life, music
Chuck Norris can listen to 24 hours worth of music and not move a single muscle.
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has 34.69 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music, time
"Johny, please, tell us, what do you do the whole day, so?" "So, in the morning I cut the wood, sometimes with both hands, 5 minutes a day I play the guitar, to tell the truth. And in the afternoon I go to my garden to water the flowers. The lilies of the valleys and may-flowers I water most likely. Yes, they are really cute. Then I tear the leaflets to find out if the neighbor (her husband is not at home) loves me or not. The last time it came out that she loves me, fuck."
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has 34.61 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: dirty, little Johnny, love, music, time
A guy sees a classified ad that says "Will give Blow Job while singing the Star Spangled Banner at the same time." The guys thinks to himself that it sounds interesting and unbelievable, and so decides to pay her a visit. She lets him in and says that the lights have to be off. So she turns the light off and starts sucking his dick. All of a sudden he hears the Star Spangled Banner, clear as day. He really wants to know how she is doing this so he flips on the lights. All he sees on the floor is a glass eye.
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has 32.79 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, music
Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago? Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood....
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has 31.68 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, death, music
10 things men don't say 1)Let's watch Lifetime. 2)Sex is overrated. 3)I don't want to go too far on the first date. 4)Yes, your sister does have bigger breasts than you. 5)Don't we owe your mother a visit? 6)I'm relieved I don't have a large penis weighing me down. 7)Dessert goes right to my hips. 8)I hate when I miss Oprah. 9)Does this suit make me look fat? 10)I'll never get tired of listening to Dido.
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has 31.08 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: men, mother in law, music, sex
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