Michael Jackson does moonwalk because he doesn't have time to turn and run away from Chuck Norris.
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The Beatles originally sang "All you need is Chuck Norris".
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A little monster was learning to play the violin,' I'm good, aren't I?' he asked his big brother.
'You should be on the radio,' said his brother.
'You think I'm that good?'
'No, I think you're terrible, but if you were on the radio, I could switch you off !
Q: Who hangs out with musicians but isn't a musician?
A: Drummers.
A guy sees a classified ad that says "Will give Blow Job while singing the Star Spangled Banner at the same time."
The guys thinks to himself that it sounds interesting and unbelievable, and so decides to pay her a visit.
She lets him in and says that the lights have to be off.
So she turns the light off and starts sucking his dick.
All of a sudden he hears the Star Spangled Banner, clear as day.
He really wants to know how she is doing this so he flips on the lights.
All he sees on the floor is a glass eye.
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Chuck Norris can listen to 24 hours worth of music and not move a single muscle.
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Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan?
A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
10 things men don't say
1)Let's watch Lifetime.
2)Sex is overrated.
3)I don't want to go too far on the first date.
4)Yes, your sister does have bigger breasts than you.
5)Don't we owe your mother a visit?
6)I'm relieved I don't have a large penis weighing me down.
7)Dessert goes right to my hips.
8)I hate when I miss Oprah.
9)Does this suit make me look fat?
10)I'll never get tired of listening to Dido.
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Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago?
Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood....
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At the grammy awards Beyonce said to Justin Bieber, "What song would u sing of mine justin?"
Justin said, "If I were a boy."