The best nurse jokes

My husband, who uses a wheelchair, showed up at his eye doctor for an appointment. The receptionist checked the schedule, then said, "The nurse will call you in a moment. Have a seat." He smiled. "Done."
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has 56.20 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: communication, health, husband, nurse, stupid
Q: How many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None. They just have a nursing student do it.
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has 44.74 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, nurse, student
A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients' bedsides. When he finished he said, in farewell, "I hope you get better." One elderly gentleman replied, "I hope you get better, too."
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has 41.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: hospital, nurse, old people
Q: How do you know that a dead body found by the side of the road is a nurse? A: Because its stomach is empty, its bladder is full, and its ass chewed!
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has 40.09 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, nurse
Q: What is 40 feet long and smells like urine? A: Line dancing at a nursing home.
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, nurse
A blonde, a priest, a doctor, a nurse, a brunette, a redhead, a lawyer, a rabbi, a musician, a farmer, a lawyer, an accountant, a Mexican, an Indian, a Chinaman, an Irishman, an Englishman an American, A Russian, an Iraqi, Hilary Clinton, Bill Clinton, Sarah Palin, George W Bush, Osama Bin laden and Barack Obama walked into a bar. The barman said, "Hang on a minute, is this some sort of joke?"
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has 28.24 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, blonde, lawyer, nurse, priest
Q: What did the emu say to the nurse? A: Mend her bones or walk the plank
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has 28.11 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, nurse
When Chuck Norris had a baby he was horny for the nurse and had a 70-inch long.
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has 25.28 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: baby, Chuck Norris, dirty, nurse