"Mommy," Little Johnny asked, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'?" "No, dear," she replied. "Sometimes they start with 'Darling, I'll be working late at the office tonight...'"
Q: What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.? A: Lazy.
I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.
The new office-boy came into his boss's office and said, "I think you re wanted on the phone, sir." "What d you mean, you think?" demanded the boss. "Well, sir, the phone rang, I answered it and a voice said is that you, you old fool?"
When the office printer color started to look a little off the manager called the local repair shop. To the manager's surprise, the clerk said that it would cost $50 but that he might try reading the manual and doing it himself. The manager replied in astonishment, does your boss know that you discourage business that way? "Yes", replied the clerk. It was his idea. We make more on repairs than cleaning printers if the owner tries to do it himself first.
The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven't seen for 20 minutes.
Write a message on an upside-down paper cup that alludes to something horrible being trapped under it. Leave it on a coworker's desk or in a conference room.
Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
Change the coffee in the office coffee maker to decaf.
I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.