The best party jokes

Q: Why doesn't the skeleton go to the party? A: Because it had no body to go with no body get it.
Vote:
has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: party
A little boy asks his Mum "why am I black and you are white ?" "Don't even ask," she replies "when I think back to that party... you are lucky that you not bark !"
Vote:
has 54.67 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: black people, dirty, kids, party, white people
A big party is being held to honor relational database systems and their impact on modern society. Outside the venue, the host awaits the guests. The first limousine arrives and out steps Oracle followed by 4 people. Host: Who have you brought along? Oracle: I have 4 DBA's in tow. One to install me, one to design the databases, one to administer me, and the other to justify the cost. A second limo arrives and out steps DB2 followed by 40 people. Host: Who have you bought along? DB2: I have 2 DBA's, 2 hardware specialists, and 36 consultants. A third limo arrives and out steps SQL Server all on his own. Host: Why haven't you brought anyone? SQL Server: I didn't bring anyone because I am easy to install and am basically self managing. But I did bring the #sqlhelp Twitter hashtag for when the excrement hits the fan. 20 minutes later, up rushes MySQL, unshaved, hair a mess. Host: Where have you been MySQL? MySQL: Sorry, I thought it was February 31st.
Vote:
has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: coding, geek, IT, party, technology
Q: Why won't Easter eggs go out at night? A: They don't want to get "beat up".
Vote:
has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: easter, food, party
Question: If you went to a party and woke up with a condom in your ass would you tell anyone? Answer: No! Response: Wanna go to a party?
Vote:
has 53.78 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, party, sex
The wild and mean bear grabs the hedgehog and asks him: "Were you at the fox’s party as well?" "Yes, I was. So what?" "Were you sitting on the table?" "Yeah, why?" The bear, ready to leg press him, changes his mind and says to the hedgehog: "Next time, wherever you go, take an umbrella with you!" "But why, my friend?" the hedgehog wonders. "Cause all night long, I was taking thorns off my ass!"
Vote:
has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, mean, party
Q: How long does the Easter Bunny like to party? A: Around the cluck!
Vote:
has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: easter, party
A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer. The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and asked, "How do you handle the situation when you are asked for advice during a social function?" "Just send an account for such advice" replied the lawyer. On the next morning the doctor arrived at his surgery and issued the ulcer-stricken man a $50 account. That afternoon he received a $100 account from the lawyer.
Vote:
has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: doctor, lawyer, medical, money, party
Q: What did the baby owl's parents say when he wanted to go to a party? A: "You're not owld enough."
Vote:
has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: age, baby, bird, communication, party
A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His friends plead with him to let them take him home. He says no -- he only lives a mile away. About five blocks from party, the police pull him over for weaving and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line. Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in their area. The police tell the drunk party animal to stay put, they will be right back and they hop a fence and run down the street to the robbery. The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day. A few hours later the police knock on the door. They ask if Mr. SMITH is there and his wife says yes. They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with the flu and has been so all day. The police have his driver's license. They ask to see his car and she asks why. They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage and opens the door where they find their police car, with the lights still flashing.
Vote:
has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, car, cop, party
<<<45
More jokes →
Page 4 of 5.