Q: Why do walruses love a tupperware party? A: They're always on the lookout for a tight seal.
Yo mama so fat that she walked out to a party wearing heels and came back wearing flip-flops.
Yo mama's so dumb, she thinks socialism means partying!
The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven't seen for 20 minutes.
After a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Already drunk and delirious, the man turns to the person sitting next to him and says, "You wanna hear a blonde joke?" The person replies, "I am 240 pounds, world kickboxing champion and a natural blonde. My friend is 190 pounds, world judo champion and is a natural blonde. And my other friend is 200 pounds, world arm wrestling champion and is also a natural blonde. Do you still want to tell me that blonde joke?" The man thinks for a while and replies, "Not if I have to explain it three times."
Q: What do actuaries do to liven up their office party? A: Invite an accountant.
Q: Why won't Easter eggs go out at night? A: They don't want to get "beat up".
Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? The whole vibe was anything ghost.
Q: What kinds of people don't get invited to blonde parties? A: Women!
A big party is being held to honor relational database systems and their impact on modern society. Outside the venue, the host awaits the guests. The first limousine arrives and out steps Oracle followed by 4 people. Host: Who have you brought along? Oracle: I have 4 DBA's in tow. One to install me, one to design the databases, one to administer me, and the other to justify the cost. A second limo arrives and out steps DB2 followed by 40 people. Host: Who have you bought along? DB2: I have 2 DBA's, 2 hardware specialists, and 36 consultants. A third limo arrives and out steps SQL Server all on his own. Host: Why haven't you brought anyone? SQL Server: I didn't bring anyone because I am easy to install and am basically self managing. But I did bring the #sqlhelp Twitter hashtag for when the excrement hits the fan. 20 minutes later, up rushes MySQL, unshaved, hair a mess. Host: Where have you been MySQL? MySQL: Sorry, I thought it was February 31st.