Joke #11535

Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? The whole vibe was anything ghost.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, party

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Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, "A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?" The other monster replied, "Be a gentleman and roll them back to her."
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has 74.89 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, flirt, Halloween, party
A police chief, a fire chief, and a city attorney were traveling together by car to a municipal management conference in a distant city. Their car broke down in a rural area, and they were forced to seek shelter for the night at a nearby farmhouse. The farmer welcomed them in but cautioned them that there were only two spare beds and that one of them would have to sleep in the barn with the farm animals. After a short conference, the police chief agreed to take the barn. Shortly after retiring, a knock was heard on the door of the farmhouse. The party inside answered to find the police chief standing there, complaining that he could not sleep. There were pigs in the barn, he said, and he was reminded of the days when everyone called him a pig. The fire chief then volunteered to exchange with the police chief. A short time later, another knock was heard at the door. The fire chief complained that the cows in the barn reminded him of Mrs. O'Leary's cow that started the Chicago fire, and that every time he started to go to sleep, he started to have a fireman's worst nightmare, that of burning to death. The city attorney, in desperation for sleep, then agreed to sleep in the barn. This seemed like a good idea until a few minutes later, when another knock was heard at the door. When the occupants answered the door, there stood the very indignant cows and pigs.
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, lawyer, party, time
Q: What do mummies like listening to on Halloween? A: Wrap music!
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, music
If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
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has 66.75 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, flirt, Halloween, sex
You might be a redneck if the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
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has 69.34 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Halloween, redneck, wife
A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer. The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and asked, "How do you handle the situation when you are asked for advice during a social function?" "Just send an account for such advice" replied the lawyer. On the next morning the doctor arrived at his surgery and issued the ulcer-stricken man a $50 account. That afternoon he received a $100 account from the lawyer.
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: doctor, lawyer, medical, money, party
A guy dies and is sent to hell. Extremely frightened because of that, he is very surprised when he arrives; beach, palm trees, sun is shining, happy people around in shorts and bikinis. Behind the next corner there are people eating great food and there's some cool music playing. After some time of wondering, a man in an expensive suit approaches him and says: "Hi, you must be the new one. Welcome to hell, I'm the devil. As you're gonna spend eternity here, make yourself comfortable and have a drink. If anything bothers you, always feel free to ask me." The guy still doesn't really understand what's going on, this is not what he expected. But finally he decides to inspect the area. Everywhere he goes, there are people laughing and having a great time, there's games, party and fun all around. Then he arrives at a steep cliff that divides the paradise hell from an area underneath, and there is hell as we know it: demons torturing the doomed, there's fire and the smell of brimstone. Shocked, he runs to the devil and says "Devil, how can that be? Here, we have the sweet eternity and down there people are tortured and burned! How can that be?!" The devil laughs and says "Oh, that. That's the Catholics - they want it that way."
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has 69.30 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: catholic, death, life, music, party
Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!
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has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, geek, Halloween, IT, programmer
Q: What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? A: Hope it's Halloween!
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has 72.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: death, Halloween
A young boy knocked on my door on Halloween night and said, "Trick or treat?" I looked at him and asked, "What have you come as?" He said, "A werewolf." I said, "But you're not wearing a costume. You've just got your normal clothes on." He said, "Yeah well, it's not a full moon yet, is it?"
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, kids