Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? The whole vibe was anything ghost.
Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, "A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?" The other monster replied, "Be a gentleman and roll them back to her."
The wild and mean bear grabs the hedgehog and asks him: "Were you at the fox’s party as well?" "Yes, I was. So what?" "Were you sitting on the table?" "Yeah, why?" The bear, ready to leg press him, changes his mind and says to the hedgehog: "Next time, wherever you go, take an umbrella with you!" "But why, my friend?" the hedgehog wonders. "Cause all night long, I was taking thorns off my ass!"
Three guys compare their levels of intoxication from a party the previous night. The first guy says, "Man, I was so drunk last night, I went home and blew chunks." The second guy says, "I was so drunk last night, I woke up this morning on my front porch." The third guy says, "I was so drunk last night, I took a prostitute home to my wife." The first guy exclaims, "You guys don't understand! Chunks is my dog!"
Q: Why couldn't the witch have children? A: Her husband had a hallow weenie.
Q: How long does the Easter Bunny like to party? A: Around the cluck!
Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?" Matthew: "I don't know. What?" Michael: "Candy corneas."
Q: How do you know your doctor is a vampire? A: He draws your blood from your neck with a straw!
Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!
Hypocrisy: When a Jehovahs Witness doesn't celebrate Halloween because they don't like random people knocking on their doors.
I went to an ISIS birthday party once. The musical chairs were a bit slow but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick.