Joke #11535

Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? The whole vibe was anything ghost.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, party

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Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, "A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?" The other monster replied, "Be a gentleman and roll them back to her."
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has 73.43 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, flirt, Halloween, party
A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer. The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and asked, "How do you handle the situation when you are asked for advice during a social function?" "Just send an account for such advice" replied the lawyer. On the next morning the doctor arrived at his surgery and issued the ulcer-stricken man a $50 account. That afternoon he received a $100 account from the lawyer.
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: doctor, lawyer, medical, money, party
Yo mama's so dumb, she thinks socialism means partying!
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: insulting, party, political, stupid, Yo mama
You might be a redneck if you're invited to a come as you party and you show up naked.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: party, redneck, stupid
Q: What do birds give out on Halloween? A: Tweets!
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: bird, Halloween, technology
Q: How do you know your doctor is a vampire? A: He draws your blood from your neck with a straw!
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: doctor, Halloween
I'm going trick or treating with my mum tonight. It's the only time I can take her out as she's been dead for ten years.
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, family, Halloween, time
A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost on Halloween. The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot. The happy photographer later downloads his photos and finds that the photos are underexposed and completely blank. Moral of the story: The spirit is willing, but the flash is weak.
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has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: business, Halloween, life
A big party is being held to honor relational database systems and their impact on modern society. Outside the venue, the host awaits the guests. The first limousine arrives and out steps Oracle followed by 4 people. Host: Who have you brought along? Oracle: I have 4 DBA's in tow. One to install me, one to design the databases, one to administer me, and the other to justify the cost. A second limo arrives and out steps DB2 followed by 40 people. Host: Who have you bought along? DB2: I have 2 DBA's, 2 hardware specialists, and 36 consultants. A third limo arrives and out steps SQL Server all on his own. Host: Why haven't you brought anyone? SQL Server: I didn't bring anyone because I am easy to install and am basically self managing. But I did bring the #sqlhelp Twitter hashtag for when the excrement hits the fan. 20 minutes later, up rushes MySQL, unshaved, hair a mess. Host: Where have you been MySQL? MySQL: Sorry, I thought it was February 31st.
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: coding, geek, IT, party, technology
I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely, Michael Myers
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has 47.72 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, Halloween, teen