The best phone jokes

A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."
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has 37.03 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, cop, phone
A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, cop, phone
When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: baby, phone, women
Teacher: "In 1940, what were the Poles doing in Russia?" Pupil: "Holding up the telegraph lines!"
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has 35.24 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: phone, school, teacher, war
Chuck Norris has an iPhone with whole apple.
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has 33.86 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."
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has 33.28 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: fitness, gym, phone, sport, time
The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
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has 33.28 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
Chuck Norris told his iPhone 2g it was a iPhone 4. He can now multi task and use face time.
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has 33.28 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone, time
Q: What's the difference between my phone and Stephen Hawking? A: When my phone dies, I actually give a fuck.
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has 32.17 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, phone
The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"
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has 31.97 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
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