The best prison jokes

A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?" The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replies in a letter: "Dear wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money." A week or so later, he receives another letter from his wife. "Dear husband, you wouldn't believe what happened. Some men came with shovels to the house and dug up the back garden." The prisoner writes back: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce."
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More jokes about: husband, life, money, prison, wife
Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car that said: "TWO PROSTITUTES $50.00." A policeman stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just then, another car passed with a sign saying, "JESUS SAVES." One of the girls asked the cop, "Why don't you stop them?" "Well, that's a little different," the cop smiled. "Their sign pertains to religion." The two ladies frowned as they took their sign down and drove off. The following day the cop noticed the same two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. This time the sign read: "TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER $50.00."
Vote: has 76.89 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, cop, money, prison, women
Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals. Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, prison
If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.
Vote: has 76.32 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: management, prison
There's 1000 black guys and 1 white guy. What do you call the white guy? Warden.
Vote: has 75.76 % from 555 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, prison, racist, white people
Q: Why are all black people fast? A: Because the slow ones are in jail.
Vote: has 75.75 % from 1703 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, prison, racist
Three guys are arrested in an adult book store and appear before the judge. He asks the first guy to stand: "What is your name?" he asked. "John," the guy answered. "And why were you arrested?" the judge asked. "I was by the magazine rack holding a big fat cigar and blowing smoke." he answered. The judge didn't see anything wrong with that, so he dismissed the guy and called up the next one. "What's your name?" he asked. "John," the guy answered. "Why were you arrested?" the Judge asked. "I was by the magazine rack holding a big fat cigar and blowing smoke." he answered. Again, the judge saw nothing offensive, 'This so-called adult store is begining to sound more like a smoking club!' he thought. So he dismissed the charge and called up the next guy. "What's your name?? No wait, let me guess; John." he said. "No," said the guy, "My name is Smoke."
Vote: has 75.55 % from 909 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay, lawyer, prison
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to... unless your in prison.
Vote: has 75.34 % from 185 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, prison, sex
How did the black guy escape from jail? He unscrewed the light bulbs.
Vote: has 74.18 % from 185 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, light bulb, prison, racist
The doctor gave me one year to live. So in the heat of the moment, I shot him. And the judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, life, prison, time