The best prison jokes

A press release: "Yesterday, for the first time a hacker was convicted of network penetration and went to jail to serve a 12 years sentence. According to the data of the central computer of the police, the hacker goes to liberty the day after tomorrow because of expiration of the sentence."
Vote: has 76.06 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, internet, IT, prison, time
The doctor gave me one year to live. So in the heat of the moment, I shot him. And the judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, life, prison, time
Three guys are arrested in an adult book store and appear before the judge. He asks the first guy to stand: "What is your name?" he asked. "John," the guy answered. "And why were you arrested?" the judge asked. "I was by the magazine rack holding a big fat cigar and blowing smoke." he answered. The judge didn't see anything wrong with that, so he dismissed the guy and called up the next one. "What's your name?" he asked. "John," the guy answered. "Why were you arrested?" the Judge asked. "I was by the magazine rack holding a big fat cigar and blowing smoke." he answered. Again, the judge saw nothing offensive, 'This so-called adult store is begining to sound more like a smoking club!' he thought. So he dismissed the charge and called up the next guy. "What's your name?? No wait, let me guess; John." he said. "No," said the guy, "My name is Smoke."
Vote: has 75.96 % from 929 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay, lawyer, prison
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to... unless your in prison.
Vote: has 74.91 % from 195 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, prison, sex
A man was strolling along a beach in California. On giving the sand a kick he struck a corked bottle. He bent down, picked it up and removed the cork. Immediately, a Genie came out of the bottle and said to him, "Master, I have been a prisoner in this bottle for a thousand years and now you have set me free. For that, I will grant you one wish." The man thought for a moment then said, "I always wanted to go to Hawaii but I am afraid to fly and I get sick on a ship. Could you build a highway from California to Hawaii?" "Master, that is a difficult wish to fulfill. Can you think of something that is more practical?" The man thought for a moment and said, "Could you tell me why women are the way they are?" The Genie thought for a moment before replying, "Would that be two lanes or four?"
Vote: has 74.89 % from 67 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: genie, life, prison, time
There's 1000 black guys and 1 white guy. What do you call the white guy? Warden.
Vote: has 74.47 % from 647 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, prison, racist, white people
Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car that said: "TWO PROSTITUTES $50.00." A policeman stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just then, another car passed with a sign saying, "JESUS SAVES." One of the girls asked the cop, "Why don't you stop them?" "Well, that's a little different," the cop smiled. "Their sign pertains to religion." The two ladies frowned as they took their sign down and drove off. The following day the cop noticed the same two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. This time the sign read: "TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER $50.00."
Vote: has 74.15 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, cop, money, prison, women
Q: Why is marriage not a word? A: It's a lifelong incarceration!
Vote: has 73.52 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, marriage, prison, time
Q: Why did the Energizer cell go to court? A: For charges of battery.
Vote: has 73.52 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, prison
Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals. Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.
Vote: has 73.13 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, prison