The best prison jokes

Three guys are arrested in an adult book store and appear before the judge. He asks the first guy to stand: "What is your name?" he asked. "John," the guy answered. "And why were you arrested?" the judge asked. "I was by the magazine rack holding a big fat cigar and blowing smoke." he answered. The judge didn't see anything wrong with that, so he dismissed the guy and called up the next one. "What's your name?" he asked. "John," the guy answered. "Why were you arrested?" the Judge asked. "I was by the magazine rack holding a big fat cigar and blowing smoke." he answered. Again, the judge saw nothing offensive, 'This so-called adult store is begining to sound more like a smoking club!' he thought. So he dismissed the charge and called up the next guy. "What's your name?? No wait, let me guess; John." he said. "No," said the guy, "My name is Smoke."
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More jokes about: gay, lawyer, prison
An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison and he didn't know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it and received this reply. "For Heavens SAKES, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS! At 4 A.M. the next morning a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next. His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."
Vote: has 75.77 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, cop, food, life, prison
Q: Why are all black people fast? A: Because the slow ones are in jail.
Vote: has 75.68 % from 1881 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, prison, racist
Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals. Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.
Vote: has 75.66 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, prison
The doctor gave me one year to live. So in the heat of the moment, I shot him. And the judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
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More jokes about: doctor, life, prison, time
If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: management, prison
Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car that said: "TWO PROSTITUTES $50.00." A policeman stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just then, another car passed with a sign saying, "JESUS SAVES." One of the girls asked the cop, "Why don't you stop them?" "Well, that's a little different," the cop smiled. "Their sign pertains to religion." The two ladies frowned as they took their sign down and drove off. The following day the cop noticed the same two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. This time the sign read: "TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER $50.00."
Vote: has 74.20 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, cop, money, prison, women
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to... unless your in prison.
Vote: has 74.09 % from 210 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, prison, sex
"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant. "You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter." "Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"
Vote: has 73.68 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: music, prison, school, time
Q: Why did the Energizer cell go to court? A: For charges of battery.
Vote: has 73.52 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, prison