The best prison jokes

Some newly-weds arrive to the hotel and the girl very afraid tells her husband: "Honey, I don't know nothing of this, can you help me, please?" I will Honey, starting from this instant, we will call your thing the prison and my thing will we call the prisoner, so... we will put the prisoner in the prison" And they throw the first one. and the guy is laying face up on the bed, but the girl was delighted and tells her husband: "Love, the prisoner is outside the prison!!!" The guy not very delighted tells her: "Lets put him into the prison another time!!" And the second ...but the girl is very sweet-toothed and she tells him: "!! Honey !!!... .The prisoner is out again!!!" The man rises, with the legs like a recently born foal. And they throw the third!!! He is laying on the bed, exhausted and the girl says: "!!! Honey, the prisoner escaped again!!!" And he answers with his last breath: "HEY !, It's not life imprisonment!!
Vote: has 67.31 % from 291 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, life, love, prison, sex
Q: Why did the Energizer cell go to court? A: For charges of battery.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, prison
There was a crooked woman, who ran a crooked mile. She found a crooked Weiner, who always made her smile. She belongs in prison, for she is just a crook. And if you don't believe me, you can read it in her book.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, poems, prison, women
If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: management, prison
Chuck Norris had never escape from jail. Jail escapes from Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, prison
An English prisoner of war was held by the Germans. The Englishman was shot all over the place, and okay until one day when the German told him, "Englander, your arm is infected with gangrene we must cut it off." The English prisoner said, "Well, okay, but could you drop it over England when you go bombing." The German replied, "Yeah that will not be a problem." A few weeks later the German tells the Englishman that they have to cut his other arm off. The Englishman says, "Well, could drop it over England like you did last time." "Yeah, that will be done," says the German. The next day the German tells him that they have to cut his leg off. Once again the Brit says, "Well, could you do the same as before." The German replies, "yeah" The next the German tells him they have to cut his other leg. "Well," begins the Brit, "could you just..." The German snapped, "No! We think you are trying to escape!"
Vote: has 66.34 % from 80 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: military, prison, war
What does it mean when you see a bunch of black men running in one direction? "A Jail break"
Vote: has 66.22 % from 467 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, prison
Now, that's gotta be a hell of a thing to go to jail for cable. You in there with mass murderers and everybody. "What you in here for?" "I killed six people. What you in here for?" "Comedy Central."
Vote: has 65.80 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, life, prison
Sophie and Shirley, two elderly widows in a Florida adult community, are curious about the latest arrival in their building — a quiet, nice looking gentleman who keeps to himself. Shirley says, “Sophie, you know I’m shy. Why don’t you go over to him at the pool and find out a little about him. He looks so lonely.” Sophie agrees, and later that day at the pool, she walks up to him and says, “Excuse me, mister. I hope I’m not prying, but my friend and I were wondering why you looked so lonely.” “Of course I’m lonely, he says, “I’ve spent the past 20 years in prison.” “You’re kidding! What for?” “For killing my third wife. I strangled her.” “What happened to your second wife?” “I shot her.” “And, if I may ask, your first wife?” “We had a fight and she fell off a building.” “Oh my,” says Sophie. Then turning to her friend on the other side of the pool, she yells, “Yoo hoo, Shirley. He’s single.”
Vote: has 64.23 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, old people, prison, wife
Apparently 98% of black people enjoy sex in the shower. The other 2% have never been to prison.
Vote: has 63.68 % from 80 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, prison, racist, sex