The best prison jokes

Q: And the difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion? A: Jail.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, prison, tax
An English prisoner of war was held by the Germans. The Englishman was shot all over the place, and okay until one day when the German told him, "Englander, your arm is infected with gangrene we must cut it off." The English prisoner said, "Well, okay, but could you drop it over England when you go bombing." The German replied, "Yeah that will not be a problem." A few weeks later the German tells the Englishman that they have to cut his other arm off. The Englishman says, "Well, could drop it over England like you did last time." "Yeah, that will be done," says the German. The next day the German tells him that they have to cut his leg off. Once again the Brit says, "Well, could you do the same as before." The German replies, "yeah" The next the German tells him they have to cut his other leg. "Well," begins the Brit, "could you just..." The German snapped, "No! We think you are trying to escape!"
Vote: has 68.97 % from 91 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: military, prison, war
Judge: "You are sentenced to 2 years of solitary confinement" Me: "Thank you."
Vote: has 68.80 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, prison, time
Yesterday, I failed my biology exam. The question was: "Name something commonly found in cells." Apparently, Niggers wasn't the right answer.
Vote: has 68.28 % from 290 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, prison, racist, school
How did the black guy escape from jail? He unscrewed the light bulbs.
Vote: has 68.09 % from 295 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, light bulb, prison, racist
A press release: "Yesterday, for the first time a hacker was convicted of network penetration and went to jail to serve a 12 years sentence. According to the data of the central computer of the police, the hacker goes to liberty the day after tomorrow because of expiration of the sentence."
Vote: has 67.89 % from 40 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: computer, internet, IT, prison, time
If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: management, prison
Some newly-weds arrive to the hotel and the girl very afraid tells her husband: "Honey, I don't know nothing of this, can you help me, please?" I will Honey, starting from this instant, we will call your thing the prison and my thing will we call the prisoner, so... we will put the prisoner in the prison" And they throw the first one. and the guy is laying face up on the bed, but the girl was delighted and tells her husband: "Love, the prisoner is outside the prison!!!" The guy not very delighted tells her: "Lets put him into the prison another time!!" And the second ...but the girl is very sweet-toothed and she tells him: "!! Honey !!!... .The prisoner is out again!!!" The man rises, with the legs like a recently born foal. And they throw the third!!! He is laying on the bed, exhausted and the girl says: "!!! Honey, the prisoner escaped again!!!" And he answers with his last breath: "HEY !, It's not life imprisonment!!
Vote: has 67.25 % from 297 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: husband, life, love, prison, sex
Q: Why did the Energizer cell go to court? A: For charges of battery.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, prison
Gilding the lily is a job seeker's birthright. Here are a few doozies, where the applicant claimed: - to be a former CEO of the company to which he was applying. - to be fluent in two languages—one of which was pig Latin. - to be a Nobel Prize winner. - to have worked in a jail when he was really in there serving time. - he was fired "on accident."
Vote: has 66.60 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, management, prison, stupid, work