The best prison jokes

An English prisoner of war was held by the Germans. The Englishman was shot all over the place, and okay until one day when the German told him, "Englander, your arm is infected with gangrene we must cut it off." The English prisoner said, "Well, okay, but could you drop it over England when you go bombing." The German replied, "Yeah that will not be a problem." A few weeks later the German tells the Englishman that they have to cut his other arm off. The Englishman says, "Well, could drop it over England like you did last time." "Yeah, that will be done," says the German. The next day the German tells him that they have to cut his leg off. Once again the Brit says, "Well, could you do the same as before." The German replies, "yeah" The next the German tells him they have to cut his other leg. "Well," begins the Brit, "could you just..." The German snapped, "No! We think you are trying to escape!"
Vote: has 68.83 % from 72 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: military, prison, war
Three women escape from prison….one is a redhead, one a brunette, and one a blonde. They run for miles until they come upon an old barn; they decide to hide in the hayloft and rest. When they climb up, they find three gunnysacks and decide to put them over their heads for camouflage. About an hour later the sheriff and his deputy come into the barn. T he sheriff tell his deputy to go up and check out the hayloft. When he got up there the sheriff asked him what he saw. The deputy told him just three gunnysacks. The sheriff told him to find out what was in them…..so the deputy kicked the first bag, which had the redhead in it……and she went “Bow-wow.” So the deputy told the sheriff there was a dog in the first one. Then he kicked the one with the brunette in it and she went “Meow.” The deputy told the sheriff there was a cat in the second one. Then he kicked the one with the blonde in it and there was no sound at all, so he kicked it again and the blonde said “Potatoes.”
Vote: has 68.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, blonde, cop, ginger, prison
Q: What is the only thing you will ever hear being said to a Mexican wearing a 3pc suit? A: "Will the defendant please rise".
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, mexican, prison
Now, that's gotta be a hell of a thing to go to jail for cable. You in there with mass murderers and everybody. "What you in here for?" "I killed six people. What you in here for?" "Comedy Central."
Vote: has 67.64 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, life, prison
Apparently 98% of black people enjoy sex in the shower. The other 2% have never been to prison.
Vote: has 67.50 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, prison, racist, sex
What does it mean when you see a bunch of black men running in one direction? "A Jail break"
Vote: has 67.14 % from 458 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, prison
Some newly-weds arrive to the hotel and the girl very afraid tells her husband: "Honey, I don't know nothing of this, can you help me, please?" I will Honey, starting from this instant, we will call your thing the prison and my thing will we call the prisoner, so... we will put the prisoner in the prison" And they throw the first one. and the guy is laying face up on the bed, but the girl was delighted and tells her husband: "Love, the prisoner is outside the prison!!!" The guy not very delighted tells her: "Lets put him into the prison another time!!" And the second ...but the girl is very sweet-toothed and she tells him: "!! Honey !!!... .The prisoner is out again!!!" The man rises, with the legs like a recently born foal. And they throw the third!!! He is laying on the bed, exhausted and the girl says: "!!! Honey, the prisoner escaped again!!!" And he answers with his last breath: "HEY !, It's not life imprisonment!!
Vote: has 67.12 % from 286 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, life, love, prison, sex
Chuck Norris had never escape from jail. Jail escapes from Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, prison
Black man says to siri: "Take me home" Siri replies: "Taking you the quickest route to jail."
Vote: has 66.64 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, insulting, prison, racist, technology
A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. On the way home, she notices a tear in his eye and asks if he's getting sentimental because they're celebrating 50 wonderful years together. He replies, "No, I was thinking about the time before we got married. Your father threatened me with a shotgun and said he'd have me thrown in jail for 50 years if I didn't marry you. Tomorrow I would've been a free man!"
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: anniversary, marriage, old people, prison