The best prison jokes

A press release: "Yesterday, for the first time a hacker was convicted of network penetration and went to jail to serve a 12 years sentence. According to the data of the central computer of the police, the hacker goes to liberty the day after tomorrow because of expiration of the sentence."
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has 69.28 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: computer, internet, IT, prison, time
Q: Why should you be more afraid of a white guy in jail than a black guy? A: You know the white guy actually committed the crime.
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has 68.91 % from 216 votes. More jokes about: prison, racist
Yesterday, I failed my biology exam. The question was: "Name something commonly found in cells." Apparently, Niggers wasn't the right answer.
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has 67.78 % from 312 votes. More jokes about: black people, prison, racist, school
In some countries, criminals have the option of either going to jail or spending a day living with Chuck Norris. No one has ever chosen Chuck Norris
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has 67.69 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, prison
If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: management, prison
Some newly-weds arrive to the hotel and the girl very afraid tells her husband: "Honey, I don't know nothing of this, can you help me, please?" I will Honey, starting from this instant, we will call your thing the prison and my thing will we call the prisoner, so... we will put the prisoner in the prison" And they throw the first one. and the guy is laying face up on the bed, but the girl was delighted and tells her husband: "Love, the prisoner is outside the prison!!!" The guy not very delighted tells her: "Lets put him into the prison another time!!" And the second ...but the girl is very sweet-toothed and she tells him: "!! Honey !!!... .The prisoner is out again!!!" The man rises, with the legs like a recently born foal. And they throw the third!!! He is laying on the bed, exhausted and the girl says: "!!! Honey, the prisoner escaped again!!!" And he answers with his last breath: "HEY !, It's not life imprisonment!!
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has 67.57 % from 300 votes. More jokes about: husband, life, love, prison, sex
Q: Why did the Energizer cell go to court? A: For charges of battery.
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: life, prison
Sophie and Shirley, two elderly widows in a Florida adult community, are curious about the latest arrival in their building — a quiet, nice looking gentleman who keeps to himself. Shirley says, “Sophie, you know I’m shy. Why don’t you go over to him at the pool and find out a little about him. He looks so lonely.” Sophie agrees, and later that day at the pool, she walks up to him and says, “Excuse me, mister. I hope I’m not prying, but my friend and I were wondering why you looked so lonely.” “Of course I’m lonely, he says, “I’ve spent the past 20 years in prison.” “You’re kidding! What for?” “For killing my third wife. I strangled her.” “What happened to your second wife?” “I shot her.” “And, if I may ask, your first wife?” “We had a fight and she fell off a building.” “Oh my,” says Sophie. Then turning to her friend on the other side of the pool, she yells, “Yoo hoo, Shirley. He’s single.”
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has 66.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: death, old people, prison, wife
The main rule to obey, if you are in jail: never take a bow for a fallen soap from the wash basin. Try and you'll cry.
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has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: dirty, prison, sex
How did the black guy escape from jail? He unscrewed the light bulbs.
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has 66.01 % from 311 votes. More jokes about: black people, light bulb, prison, racist