The best prison jokes

"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant. "You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter." "Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"
Vote: has 73.13 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: music, prison, school, time
Three men were caught for murder on same day. Very next day they were produced in the court. After hearing all the arguments the judge decided to declare the verdict after lunch. It happened to be his wife's birthday that day and he had promised to not give death penalty on her birthday to anyone. After lunch judge announced that all the three accused will receive 500 lashes. Since it's almost a death penalty all accused were asked for their last wish. First one thought as nothing can save him now, wishes for noth ing. He is lashed 500 times all over his body. He was bleeding all over gasping for final breath and conciousness. When second person was asked for his wish he thought for a moment and said, "I wish that 10 pillow is tied all over me." Well, 500 lashes was given but he laughed all over as pillow absorbed all the forces of lashes. Now, The third person was called and asked for his wish. He looked around. He saw first person facing his death and counting his last breath and second person laughing at first person calling him idiot. He took some time and with deep breath said,"Tie second person over me. "
Vote: has 72.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, dirty, prison, time, wife
There's 1000 black guys and 1 white guy. What do you call the white guy? Warden.
Vote: has 72.61 % from 710 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, prison, racist, white people
In some countries, criminals have the option of either going to jail or spending a day living with Chuck Norris. No one has ever chosen Chuck Norris
Vote: has 72.56 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, prison
Why don't black people pay rent? Because jail is free.
Vote: has 72.31 % from 200 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, money, prison, racist
How did the black guy escape from jail? He unscrewed the light bulbs.
Vote: has 72.23 % from 235 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, light bulb, prison, racist
A press release: "Yesterday, for the first time a hacker was convicted of network penetration and went to jail to serve a 12 years sentence. According to the data of the central computer of the police, the hacker goes to liberty the day after tomorrow because of expiration of the sentence."
Vote: has 72.04 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, internet, IT, prison, time
Q: Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window? A: Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dentist, prison
A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France." The new man asked, "What happened?" "One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!"
Vote: has 70.78 % from 61 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, car, life, prison, women
Yesterday, I failed my biology exam. The question was: "Name something commonly found in cells." Apparently, Niggers wasn't the right answer.
Vote: has 70.22 % from 178 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, prison, racist, school