The best prison jokes

"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant. "You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter." "Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"
Vote: has 71.72 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: music, prison, school, time
A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France." The new man asked, "What happened?" "One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!"
Vote: has 71.64 % from 63 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, car, life, prison, women
Why don't black people pay rent? Because jail is free.
Vote: has 71.62 % from 249 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, money, prison, racist
A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. On the way home, she notices a tear in his eye and asks if he's getting sentimental because they're celebrating 50 wonderful years together. He replies, "No, I was thinking about the time before we got married. Your father threatened me with a shotgun and said he'd have me thrown in jail for 50 years if I didn't marry you. Tomorrow I would've been a free man!"
Vote: has 71.25 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: anniversary, marriage, old people, prison
Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car that said: "TWO PROSTITUTES $50.00." A policeman stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just then, another car passed with a sign saying, "JESUS SAVES." One of the girls asked the cop, "Why don't you stop them?" "Well, that's a little different," the cop smiled. "Their sign pertains to religion." The two ladies frowned as they took their sign down and drove off. The following day the cop noticed the same two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. This time the sign read: "TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER $50.00."
Vote: has 71.00 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, cop, money, prison, women
Q: Why is marriage not a word? A: It's a lifelong incarceration!
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, marriage, prison, time
In some countries, criminals have the option of either going to jail or spending a day living with Chuck Norris. No one has ever chosen Chuck Norris
Vote: has 69.88 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, prison
Yesterday, I failed my biology exam. The question was: "Name something commonly found in cells." Apparently, Niggers wasn't the right answer.
Vote: has 69.12 % from 214 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, prison, racist, school
A press release: "Yesterday, for the first time a hacker was convicted of network penetration and went to jail to serve a 12 years sentence. According to the data of the central computer of the police, the hacker goes to liberty the day after tomorrow because of expiration of the sentence."
Vote: has 67.78 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, internet, IT, prison, time
How did the black guy escape from jail? He unscrewed the light bulbs.
Vote: has 67.70 % from 268 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, light bulb, prison, racist